ther of a family turned to ridicule, for fome domeftic calamity. A wife be made uneafy all her life, for a mifinterpreted word or action. Nay, a good, a temperate, and a just man, shall be put out of countenance by the representation of those qualities that should do him honour. So pernicious a thing is wit, when it is not tempered with virtue and humanity. I have indeed heard of heedless inconfiderate writers, that without any malice have facrificed the reputation of their friends and acquaintance, to a certain levity of temper, and a filly ambition of diftinguishing themselves by a fpirit of raillery and fatire; as if it were not infinitely more honourable to be a good-natured man, than a wit. Where there is this little petulant humour in an author, he is often very mischievous without defigning to be fo. For which reason I always lay it down as a rule, that an indifcreet man is more hurtful than an ill-natured one; for as the latter will only attack his enemies, and those he wishes ill to, the other injures indifferently both friends and foes. I cannot forbear, on this occafion, transcribing a fable out of Sir Roger l'Estrange, which accidentally lies before me. A. company of waggifh boys were watching of frogs at the fide of a pond, and ' still as any of 'em put up their heads, they'd be pelting them down again with stones. Children, fays one of the frogs, you never confider that though this may be play to you, 'tis death to us.' ८ 6 As this week is in a manner fet apart and dedicated to ferious thoughts, I shall indulge myself in fuch speculations as may not be altogether unfuitable to the season; and in the mean time, as the fettling in ourselves a charitable frame of mind is a work very proper for the time, I have in this paper endeavoured to expose that particular breach of charity which has been generally overlooked by divines, because they are but few who can be guilty of it. C VOL. I. E Wednerday, N° 24 Wednesday, March 28. Accurrit quidam notus mibi nomine tantum; Hor. Sat. I. ix. 3. Comes up a fop (I knew him but by fame) THERE HERE are in this town a great number of infignificant people, who are by no means fit for the better fort of converfation, and yet have an impertinent ambition of appearing with those to whom they are not welcome. If you walk in the Park, one of them will certainly join with you, though you are in company with Jadies; if you drink a bottle, they will find your haunts. What makes fuch fellows the more burdenfome, is, that they neither offend nor pleate fo far as to be taken notice of for either. It is, I prefume, for this reason, that my correfpondents are willing by my means to be rid of them. The two following letters are writ by perfons who fuffer by such impertinence. A worthy old bachelor, who fets in for his dofe of claret every night at fuch an hour, is teazed by a fwarm of them; who, because they are fure of room and good fire, have taken it in their heads to keep a fort of club in his company; though the fober gentleman himself is an utter enemy to such meetings. 6 Mr. SPECTATOR, THE averfion I for fome years have had to clubs in general, gave me a perfect relish for your fpecula • tion on that fubject; but I have fince been extremely mortified, by the malicious world's ranking me amongit • the fupporters of such impertinent affemblies. I beg • leave to state my cafe fairly; and that done, I shall ex• pect redress from your judicious pen. • I am, 'I am, Sir, a bachelor of some standing, and a tra' veller; my business, to confult my own humour, which • I gratify without controlling other people's; I have a • room and a whole bed to myself; and I have a dog, a ' fiddle, and a gun; they please me, and injure no creature alive. My chief meal is a fupper, which I always 'make at a tavern. I am conftant to an hour, and not ' ill-humoured; for which reasons, though I invite nobody, I have no fooner fupped, than I have a crowd ' about me of that fort of good company that know not ' whither else to go. It is true every man pays his ' share; yet as they are intruders, I have an undoubted ' right to be the only speaker, or at least the loudest; ' which I maintain, and that to the great emolument of 6 ، ، my audience. I sometimes tell them their own in pretty free language; and fometimes divert them with merry tales, according as I am in humour. I am one ' of those who live in taverns to a great age, by a fort ' of regular intemperance; I never go to bed drunk, ' but always flustered; I wear away very gently, am apt to be peevish, but never angry. Mr. Spectator, if you ' have kept various company, you know there is in every tavern in town fome old humourist or other, who 'is master of the house as much as he that keeps it. 'The drawers are all in awe of him; and all the cuftomers, who frequent his company, yield him a fort of ' comical obedience. I do not know but I may be fuch a fellow as this myself. But I appeal to you, whether this is to be called a club, because so many impertinents will break in upon me, and come without appointment? Clinch of Barnet has a nightly meeting, and shows to every one that will come in and pay; but then he is the only actor. Why should people miscal things? If his is allowed to be a concert, why 'main't mine be a lecture? However, Sir, I fubmit it • to you, and am, • Sir, • Your most obedient, &c. THO. KIMBOW." E2 L Good Good Sir, YO OU and I were press'd against each other last winter in a crowd, in which uneasy poiture we 'fuffer'd together for almost half an hour. I thank you for all your civilities ever fince, in being of my acquaintance wherever you meet me. But the other day you pull'd off your hat to me in the Park when I was walking with my mistress. She did not like your air, ' and faid the wondered what strange fellows I was ac' quainted with. Dear Sir, confider it is as much as my • life is worth, if she should think we were intimate; ' therefore I earnestly intreat you for the future to take no manner of notice of, Sir, Your obliged humble servant, WILL. FASHION." A like impertinence is also very troublesome to the fuperior and more intelligent part of the fair sex. It is, it feems, a great inconvenience, that those of the meanest capacities will pretend to make vifits, tho' indeed they are qualified rather to add to the furniture of the house, by filling an empty chair, than to the conversation they come into when they vifit. A friend of mine hopes for redress in this cafe, by the publication of her letter in my paper; which the thinks those she would be rid of will take to themselves. It seems to be written with an eye to one of those pert giddy unthinking girls, who upon the recommendation only of an agreeable perfon, and a fashionable air, take themselves to be upon a level with women of the greatest merit. ' Madam, I TAKE this way to acquaint you with what common rules and forms would never permit me to tell • you otherwife; to wit, that you and I, tho' equals in quality and fortune, are by no means fuitable compa• nions. You are, 'tis true, very pretty, can dance, • and make a very good figure in a public assembly; 'but alas, Madam, you must go no further; distance and filence are your best recommendations; therefore let me beg of you never to make me any more vifits. You come in a literal sense to fee one, for you have nothing to say. I do not fay this, that I would by any means lose your acquaintance; but I would keep ' it up with the stricteft forms of good-breeding. Let us pay vifits, but never fee one another. If you will be fo good as to deny yourself always to me, I shall return the obligation by giving the fame orders to my ' fervants. When accident makes us meet at a third place, we may mutually lament the misfortune of never finding one another at home, go in the fame party to a benefit-play, and smile at each other, and put down glafles as we pass in our coaches. Thus we may enjoy as much of each other's friendship as we are capable: for there are fome people who are to be known only by fight, with which fort of friendship I hope you will always honour, 6 6 6 4 • Your most obedient, humble fervant, MARY TUESDAY. * P. S. I fubfcribe myself by the name of the day I * keep, that my fupernumerary friends may know whe * I am.' 61 ADVERTISEMENT. "To prevent all mistakes, that may happen among gentlemen of the other end of the town, who come " but once a week to St. James's coffee-house, either by mifcalling the fervants, or requiring fuch things from "them as are not properly within their respective pro"vinces; this is to give notice, that Kidney, keeper of "the book-debts of the outlying customers, and observer " of those who go off without paying, having refign'd " that employment, is succeeded by John Sowton; to " whose place of enterer of messages and first coffee. grinder William Bird is promoted; and Samuel Bur"dock comes as shoe-cleaner in the room of the faid « Bird." 66 E 3 R Thursday, |