the club met was fomething of the largest, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate fize, and the other by a pair of folding doors. If a candidate for this corpulent club could make his entrance through the firft, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he ftuck in the paffage, and could not force his way through it, the folding doors were immediately thrown open for his reception, and he was faluted as a brother. I have heard that this club, though it confifted but of fifteen perfons, weighed above three tun. In oppofition to this fociety, there fprung up another, compofed of fcarecrows and skeletons, who, being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the defigns of their bulky brethren, whom they reprefented as men of dangerous principles; until at length they worked them out of the favour of the people, and confequently out of the magiftracy. These factions tore the corporation in pieces for feveral years, until at length they came to this accommodation; that the two bailiffs of the town should be annually chofen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magiftrates are at this day coupled like rabbets, one fat and one lean. Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and profeffions, provided they agreed in the firname of King, which, as they imagined, fufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchical principles. A Chriftian name has likewife been often used as a badge of diftinction, and made the occafion of a club. That of the George's, which ufed to meet at the fign of the George on St. George's day, and fwear Before George, is ftill fresh in every one's me mory. There There are at present in several parts of this city what they call Street-Clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the ftreet converfe together every night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Ormond-Street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me, there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon farther difcourfe with him, that two or three noify country-fquires, who were fettled there the year before, had confiderably funk the price of houfcrent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every houfe that became vacant into their own hands, until they had found a tenant for it, of a fociable nature and good converfation. The Hum-Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honeft gentlemen, of peaceable difpofitions, that ufed to fit together, fmoke their pipes, and fay nothing until midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the fame nature, and as great an enemy to noise. After thefe two innocent focieties, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mifchievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the Second: I mean the Club of Duelifts, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The prefident of it was faid to have killed half a dozen in fingle combat; and, as for the other members, they took their feats according to the number of their flain. There was likewife a fide-table, for fuch as had only drawn blood, and fhewn a laudable ambition of taking the firft opportunity to qualify themfelves for the firft table. This club, confifting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the fword, or hanged, a little after its inftitution. Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most D 2 men men agree, and in which the learned and illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philofopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-Cat itself is faid to have taken its original from a mutton-pye. The Beef-Stake, and October clubs, are neither of them averfe to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their refpective titles. When men are thus knit together, by a love of fociety, not a fpirit of faction, and do not meet to cenfure or annoy thofe that are abfent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the bufinefs of the day, by an innocent and chearful converfation, there may be fomething very useful in thefe little inftitutions and establishments. I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehoufe: How I came thither I may inform my Reader at a more convenient time. Thefe laws were enacted by a knot of artifans and mechanicks, who ufed to meet every night; and, as there is fomething in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I fhall tranfcribe them word for word. RULES to be obferved in the Two-Penny Club, erected in this place for the prefervation of friendship and good neighbourhood. I. Every member at his first coming in fhall lay down his two-pence. II. Every member fhall fill his pipe out of his own box. III. If any member abfents himfelf, he fhall forfeit a penny for the ufe of the club, unlefs in cafe of fickness or imprisonment. IV. If any member fwears or curfes, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the fhins. མ. V. If any member tells ftories in the club that are not true, he fhall forfeit for every third lie an halfpenny. VI. If any member ftrikes another wrongfully, he fhall pay his club for him. VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he fhall pay for whatever fhe drinks or fmokes. VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, fhe fhall fpeak to him without the door. IX. If any member calls another cuckold, he fhall be turned out of the club. X. None fhall be admitted into the club that is of the fame trade with any member of it. XI. None of the club fhall have his clothes or fhoes made or mended, but by a brother-member. XII. No nonjuror fhall be capable of being a member. The morality of this little club is guarded by fuch wholesome laws and penalties, that I queftion not but my Reader will be as well pleafed with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnson, the regulations of an old Roman club cited by Lipfius, or the rules of a Sympofium in an ancient Greek author. C No 10. MONDAY, MARCH 12. Non aliter quam qui adverfo vix flumine lembum So the boat's brawny crew the current ftem, T is with much fatisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming ferioufnefs and attention. My publifher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them diftributed every day: So that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modeft computation, I may reckon about threefcore thoufand difciples in London and Weftminster, who, I hope, will take care to diinguifh themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and unattentive brethren. Since I have raifed to myself fo great an audience, I fhall fpare no pains to make their inftruction agreeable, and their diversion useful. For which reafons I fhall endeavour to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my Readers may, if poffible, both ways find their account in the fpeculation of the day. And, to the end that their virtue and difcretion may not be fhort tranfient intermitting starts of thought, I have refolved to refresh their memories from day to day, until I have recovered them out of that defperate frate of vice and folly into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow but a fingle day, fprouts up in follies that are only to be killed by |