ticipate their fury, by first falling into a pas- | sion myself. But alas! upon entering, I found the family no way disposed for battle. My wife and girls were all in tears, Mr Thornhill having been there that day to inform them, that their journey to town was entirely over. The two ladies having heard reports of us from some malicious person about us, were that day set out for London. He could neither discover the tendency, nor the author of these; but whatever they might be, or whoever might have broached them, he continued to assure our family of his friendship and protection. I found, therefore, that they bore my disappointment with great resignation, as it was eclipsed in the greatness of their own. But what preplexed us most, was to think who could be so base as to asperse the character of a family so harmless as ours, too humble to excite envy, and too inoffensive to create disgust. CHAPTER XV. ALL MR BURCHELL'S VILLANY AT ONCE DETECTED. THE FOLLY OF BEING OVER-WISE. THAT evening, and a part of the following day, was employed in fruitless attempts to discover our enemies: scarcely a family in the neighbourhood but incurred our suspicions, and each of us had reasons for our opinions best known to ourselves. As we were in this perplexity, one of our little boys, who had been playing abroad, brought in a letter-case, which be found on the green. It was quickly known to belong to Mr Burchell, with whom it had been seen, and, upon examination, contained some hints upon different subjects; but what particularly engaged our attention was a sealed note, superscribed, The copy of a letter to be sent to the two ladies at Thornhill Castle. It instantly occurred that he was the base informer, and we deliberated whether the note should not be broke open. I was against it; but Sophia, who said she was sure that of all men he would be the last to be guilty of so much baseness, insisted upon its being read. In this she was seconded by the rest of the family, and at their joint solicitation I read as follows: "LADIES, "THE bearer will sufficiently satisfy you as to the person from whom this comes: one at least the friend of innocence, and ready to prevent its being seduced. I am informed for a truth, that you have some intention of bringing two young ladies to town, whom I have some knowledge of, under the character of companions. As I would neither have simplicity imposed upon, nor virtue contaminated, I must offer it as my opinion, that the impropriety of such a step will be attended with dangerous consequences. It has never been my way to treat the infamous or the lewd with severity; nor should I now have taken this method of explaining myself, or reproving folly, did it not aim at guilt. Take therefore the admonition of a friend, and seriously reflect on the consequences of introducing infamy and vice into retreats, where peace and innocence have hitherto resided." As Our doubts were now at an end. There seemed indeed something applicable to both sides in this letter, and its censures might as well be referred to those to whom it was written, as to us; but the malicious meaning was obvious, and we went no farther. My wife had scarcely patience to hear me to the end, but railed at the writer with unrestrained resentment. Olivia was equally severe, and Sophia seemed perfectly amazed at his baseness. for my part, it appeared to me one of the vilest instances of unprovoked ingratitude I had met with; nor could I account for it in any other manner, than by imputing it to his desire of detaining my youngest daughter in the country, to have the more frequent opportunities of an interview. In this manner we all sat ruminating upon schemes of vengeance, when our other little boy came running in to tell us that Mr Burchell was approaching at the other end of the field. It is easier to conceive than describe the complicated sensations which are felt from the pain of a recent injury, and the pleasure of an approaching vengeance. Though our intentions were only to upbraid him with his ingratitude, yet it was resolved to do it in a manner that would be perfectly cutting. For this purpose we agreed to meet him with our usual smiles; to chat in the beginning with more than ordinary kindness; to amuse him a little; and then, in the midst of the flattering calm, to burst upon him like an earthquake, and overwhelm him with a sense of his own baseness. This being resolved upon, my wife undertook to manage the business herself, as she really bad some talents for such an undertaking. We saw him approach; he entered, drew a chair, and sat down." A fine day, Mr Burchell."——“ A very fine day, Doctor; though I fancy we shall have some rain by the shooting of my corns"-" The shooting of your horns!" cried my wife in a loud fit of laughter, and then asked pardon for being fond of a joke-" Dear Madam," replied he, "I pardon you with all my heart, for I protest I should not have thought it a joke had you not told me."-" Perhaps not, Sir," cried my wife, winking at us; "and yet I dare say you can tell us how many jokes go to an ounce.""I fancy, Madam," returned Burchell," you have been reading a jest book this morning, that ounce of jokes is so very good a conceit; and yet, Madam, I had rather see half an ounce of understanding."—" I be. lieve you might," cried my wife, still smiling at us, though the laugh was against her; " "and yet I have seen some men pretend to understanding that have very little."-" And no doubt," returned her antagonist, "you have known ladies set up for wit that had none.' I quickly began to find that my wife was likely to gain but little at this business; so I resolved to treat him in a style of more severity myself. "Both wit and understanding," cried I, "are trifles without integrity; it is that which gives value to every character. The ignorant peasant without fault, is greater than the philosopher with many; for what is genius or courage without an heart? An honest man is the noblest work of God." "I always held that hackneyed maxim of Pope," returned Mr Burchell, "as very unworthy a man of genius, and a base desertion of his own superiority. As the reputation of books is raised, not by their freedom from defect, but the greatness of their beauties; so should that of men be prized, not for their exemption from fault, but the size of those virtues they are possessed of. The scholar may want prudence, the statesman may have pride, and the champion ferocity; but shall we prefer to these the low mechanic, who laboriously plods through life without censure or applause? We might as well prefer the tame correct paintings of the Flemish school, to the erroneous but sublime animations of the Roman pencil." "Sir," replied I, "your present observation is just, when there are shining virtues and minute defects; but when it appears that great vices are opposed in the same mind to as extraordinary virtues, such a character deserves contempt." "Perhaps," cried he, "there may be some such monsters as you describe, of great vices joined to great virtues; yet in my progress through life, I never yet found one instance of their existence on the contrary, I have ever perceived, that where the mind was capacious, the affections were good. And indeed Providence seems kindly our friend in this particular, thus to debilitate the understanding where the heart is corrupt, and diminish the power, where there is the will to do mischief. This rule seems to extend even to other animals: the little vermin race are ever treacherous, cruel, and cowardly, whilst those endowed with strength and power, are generous, brave, and gentle." "These observations sound well," returned I, "and yet it would be easy this moment to point out a man," and I fixed my eyes stedfastly upon him, "whose head and heart form a most detestable contrast. Ay, Sir," continued I, raising my voice, “and I am glad to have this opportunity of detecting him in the midst of his fancied security. Do you know this, Sir, this pocket book ?"-" Yes, Sir," returned he, with a face of impenetrable assurance, that pocket book is mine, and I am glad you have found it."-"And do you know," cried I, "this letter? Nay, never falter, man; sion. 66 but look me full in the face: I say do you know this letter?"-" That letter," returned he; "yes, it was I that wrote that letter.""And how could you," said I, "so basely, so ungratefully presume to write this letter?" -"And how came you," replied he with looks of unparalleled effrontery, "so basely to presume to break open this letter? Don't you know, now, I could hang you all for this? All that I have to do is to swear at the next Justice's, that you have been guilty of breaking open the lock of my pocket book, and so hang you all up at this door." This piece of unexpected insolence raised me to such a pitch, that I could scarcely govern my pasUngrateful wretch! begone, and no longer pollute my dwelling with thy baseness ! begone, and never let me see thee again! Go from my door, and the only punishment I wish thee is an alarmed conscience, which will be a sufficient tormentor!" So saying, I threw him his pocket-book, which he took up with a smile, and shutting the clasps with the utmost composure, left us, quite astonished at the serenity of his assurance. My wife was particularly enraged that nothing could make him angry, or make him seem ashamed of his villanies. "My dear," cried I, willing to calm those passions that had been raised too high among us, "we are not to be surprised that bad men want shame; they only blush at being detected in doing good, but glory in their vices." "Guilt and Shame, says the allegory, were at first companions, and in the beginning of their journey, inseparably kept together. But their union was soon found to be disagreeable and inconvenient to both: Guilt gave Shame frequent uneasiness, and Shame often betrayed the secret conspiracies of Guilt. After long disagreement, therefore, they at length consented to part for ever. Guilt boldly walked forward alone, to overtake Fate, that went before in the shape of an executioner; but Shame being naturally timorous, returned back to keep company with Virtue, which in the beginning of their journey they had left behind. Thus, my children, after men have travelled through a few stages in vice, Shame forsakes them, and returns back to wait upon the few virtues they have still remaining.” CHAPTER XVI. THE FAMILY USE ART, WHICH IS OPPOSED WITH STILI. GREATER. WHATEVER might have been Sophia's sen. sations, the rest of the family was easily con soled for Mr Burchell's absence by the company of our landlord, whose visits now became more frequent, and longer. Though he had been disappointed in procuring my daughters the amusements of the town as he designed, be took every opportunity of supplying them | with those little recreations which our retirement would admit of. He usually came in the morning, and while my son and I followed our occupations abroad, he sat with the family at home, and amused them by describing the town, with every part of which he was particularly acquainted. He could repeat all the observations that were retailed in the atmosphere of the playhouses, and had all the good things of the high wits by rote, long before they made their way into the jest books. The intervals between conversation were employed in teaching my daughters piquet, or sometimes in setting my two little ones to box, to make them sharp, as he called it but the hopes of having him for a son-in-law, in some measure blinded us to all his imperfections. It must be owned, that my wife laid a thousand schemes to entrap him; or, to speak more tenderly, used every art to magnify the merit of her daughter. If the cakes at tea eat short and crisp, they were made by Olivia; if the goose berry wine was well knit, the gooseberries were of her gathering; it was her fingers which gave the pickles their peculiar green; and in the composition of a pudding, it was her judgment that mixed the ingredients. Then the poor woman would sometimes tell the Squire, that she thought him and Olivia extremely of a size, and would bid both stand up to see which was tallest. There instances of cunning, which she thought impenetrable, yet which every body saw through, were very pleasing to our benefactor, who gave every day some new proofs of his passion, which, though they had not arisen to proposals of marriage, yet we thought fell but little short of it: and his slowness was attributed sometimes to native bashfulness, and sometimes to his fear of offending his uncle. An occurrence, however, which happened soon after, put it beyond a doubt that be designed to become one of our family; my wife even regarded it as an absolute promise. My wife and daughters happening to return a visit to neighbour Flamborough's, found that family had lately got their pictures drawn by a limner, who travelled the country, and took likenesses for fifteen shillings a-head. As this family and ours had long a sort of rivalry in point of taste, our spirit took the alarm at this stolen march upon us, and notwithstanding all I could say, and I said much, it was resolved that we should have our pictures done too. Having, therefore, engaged the limaer,-for what could I do? our next deliberation was, to show the superiority of our taste in the attitudes. As for our neighbour's family, there were seven of them, and they were drawn with seven oranges, a thing quite out of taste, no variety in life, no composition in the world. We desired to have, something in a brighter style, and after many debates, at length came to an unanimous resolution of being drawn together in one large historical family piece. This would be cheaper, since one frame would serve for all, and it would be infinitely more genteel; for all families of any taste were now drawn in the same manner. As we did not immediately recollect an historical subject to hit us, we were contented each with being drawn as independent historical figures. My wife desired to be represented as Venus, and the painter desired not to be too frugal of his diamonds in her stomacher and hair. Her two little ones were to be as Cupids by her side, while I in my gown and band, was to present her with my books on the Whistonian contro versy. Olivia would be drawn as an Amazon sitting upon a bank of flowers, dressed in a green Joseph, richly laced with gold, and a whip in her hand, Sophia was to be a shepherdess, with as many sheep as the painter could put in for nothing; and Moses was to be dressed out with a hat and white feather. Our taste so much pleased the 'Squire, that he insisted on being put in as one of the family in the character of Alexander the Great, at Olivia's feet. This was considered by us all as an indication of his desire to be introduced into the family, nor could we refuse his request. The painter was therefore set to work, and as he wrought with assiduity and expedition, in less than four days the whole was completed. The piece was large, and it must be owned be did not spare his colours; for which my wife gave him great encomiums. We were all perfectly satisfied with his performance; but an unfortunate circumstance had not occurred till the picture was finished, which now struck us with dismay. It was so very large that we had no place in the house to fix it. How we all came to disregard so material a point is inconceivable; but certain it is, we had been all greatly remiss. The picture, therefore, instead of gratifying our vanity, as we hoped, leaned, in a most mortifying manner against the kitchen wall, where the canvass was stretched and painted, much too large to be got through any of the doors, and the jest of all our neighbours. One compared it to Robinson Cru soe's long-boat, too large to be removed; another thought it more resembled a reel in a bottle: some wondered how it could be got out, but still more were amazed how it ever got in. But though it excited the ridicule of some, it effectually raised more malicious suggestions in many. The 'Squire's portrait being found united with ours, was an honour too great to escape envy. Scandalous whispers began to circulate at our expense, and our tranquillity was continually disturbed by persons who came as friends to tell us what was said of us by enemies. These reports we always resented, with becoming spirit; but scandal ever improves by opposition. We once again therefore entered into a consultation upon obviating the malice of our enemies, and at last came to a resolution which had too much cunning to give me entire satisfaction. It was this: as our principal | object was to discover the honour of Mr Thornhill's addresses, my wife undertook to sound him, by pretending to ask his advice in the choice of a husband for her eldest daughter. If this was not found sufficient to induce him to a declaration, it was then resolved to terrify him with a rival. To this last step, however, I would by no means give my consent, till Olivia gave me the most solemn as surances that she would marry the person provided to rival him upon this occasion, if he did not prevent it, by taking her himself. Such was the scheme laid, which, though I did not strenuously oppose, I did not entirely approve. lately dead, and who wants a manager: you know whom I mean, farmer Will ams; a warm man, Mr Thornhill, able to give her good bread; and who has several times made her proposals. (which was actually the case): but, Sir," concluded she, I should be glad to have your approbation of our choice."—" How, Madam," replied he, "my approbation !— My approbation of such a choice! Never. What! sacrifice so much beauty, and sense, and goodness, to a creature insensible of the blessing! Excuse me, I can never approve of such a piece of injustice! And I have my reasons." Indeed, Sir," cried Deborah, "if you have your reasons, that's another affair: but I should be glad to know these reasons."-" Excuse for discovery, (laying his hand upon his bosom); they remain buried, rivetted here." After he was gone, upon a general consultation, we could not tell what to make of these fine sentiments. Olivia considered them as instances of the most exalted passion; but I was not quite so sanguine: it seemed to me pretty plain, that they had more of love than matrimony in them: yet whatever they might portend, it was resolved to prosecute the scheme of farmer Williams, who, from my daughter's first appearance in the country, had paid her his addresses. The next time, therefore, that Mr Thorn-me, Madam," returned he, "they lie too deep hill came to see us, my girls took care to be out of the way, in order to give their Mamma an opportunity of putting her scheme in execution; but they only retired to the next room, whence they could overhear the whole conversation. My wife artfully introduced it, by observing, that one of the Miss Flamboroughs was like to have a very good match of it in Mr Spanker. To this the 'Squire assenting, she proceeded to remark, that they who had warm fortunes were always sure of getting good husbands: "But heaven help," continued she, "the girls that have none. What signifies beauty, Mr Thornbill? or what signifies all the virtue, and all the qualifications in the world, in this age of self-interest? It is not, what is she? but, what has she? is all the cry." CHAPTER XVII. POWER OF LONG AND PLEASING TEMPTATION. "Madam," returned he, "I highly approve SCARCELY ANY VIRTUE FOUND TO RESIST THE the justice, as well as the novelty of your remarks, and if I were a king, it should be otherwise. It should then, indeed, be fine times with the girls without fortunes: our two young ladies should be the first for whom I would provide." "Ah, Sir," returned my wife, "you are pleased to be facetious: but I wish I were a queen, and then I know where my eldest daughter should look for a husband. But, now that you have put it into my head, seriously, Mr Thornhill, can't you recommend me a proper husband for her? she is now nineteen years old, well grown and well educated, and in my humble opinion, does not want for parts." "Madam," replied he, "If I were to choose, I would find out a person possessed of every accomplishment that can make an angel happy. One with prudence, fortune, taste, and sincerity; such, Madam, would be, in my opinion, the proper husband." "Ay, Sir," said she, "but do you know of any such person?""No, Madam," returned he, "it is impossible to know any person that deserves to be her husband she's too great a treasure for one man's possession; she's a goddess! Upon my soul, I speak what I think, she's an angel.""Ah, Mr Thornhill, you only flatter my poor girl; but we have been thinking of marrying her to one of your tenants, whose mother is As I only studied my child's real happiness, the assiduity of Mr Williams pleased me, as he was in easy circumstances, prudent, and sincere. It required but very little encouragement to revive his former passion; so that in an evening or two he and Mr Thornhill met at our house, and surveyed each other for some time with looks of anger; but Williams owed his landlord no rent, and little regarded his indignation. Olivia, on her side, acted the coquette to perfection, if that might be called acting which was her real character, pretending to lavish all her tenderness on her new lover. Mr Thornhill appeared quite dejected at this preference, and with a pensive air took leave, though I own it puzzled me to find him so much in pain as he appeared to be, when he had it in his power so easily to remove the cause, by declaring an honourable passion. But whatever uneasiness he seemed to endure, it could easily be perceived that Olivia's anguish was still greater. After any of these interviews between her lovers, of which there were several, she usually retired to solitude, and there indulged her grief. It was in such a situation I found her one evening, after she had beeu for some time supporting a fictitious gaiety. You now see, my child," said I, "that your 66 confidence in Mr Thornhill's passion was all a busied in forming a thousand projects, and dream: he permits the rivalry of another, every | laughing at whatever folly came uppermost. way his inferior, though he knows it lies in his "Well Moses," cried I, "we shall soon, my power to secure you to himself by a candid boy, have a wedding in the family: what is declaration."" Yes, Papa," returned she, your opinion of matters and things in general ?" "but he has his reasons for this delay: I "My opinion, father, is, that all things go on know he has. The sincerity of his looks and very well; and I was just now thinking, that words convinces me of his real esteem. A when sister Livy is married to farmer Williams, short time, I hope, will discover the generosity we shall then have the loan of his cyder-press of his sentiments, and convince you that my and brewing tubs for nothing."-" That we opinion of him has been more just than yours.' shall, Moses," cried I, "and he will sing us Olivia, my darling," returned I, "every Death and the Lady, to raise our spirits inta scheme that has been hitherto pursued to com- the bargain."- "He has taught that song to pel him to a declaration, has been proposed our Dick," cried Moses, "and I think he goes and planned by yourself, nor can you in the through it very prettily.' "Does he so?" cried least say that I have constrained you. But I, then let us have it: where's little Dick? you must not suppose, my dear, that I will let him up with it boldly"-" My brother ever be instrumental in suffering his honest Dick," cried Bill, my youngest, "is just gone rival to be the dupe of your ill-placed passion. out with sister Livy: but Mr Willians has Whatever time you require to bring your taught me two songs, and I'll sing them for fancied admirer to an explanation, shall be you, Papa. Which song do you choose, the granted; but at the expiration of that term, Dying Swan, or the Elegy on the Death of a if he is still regardless, I must absolutely in- Mad Dog ?" "The elegy, child by all means," sist that honest Mr Williams shall be rewarded said I; I never heard that yet; and Deborah, for his fidelity. The character which I have my life, grief you know is dry, let us have a hitherto supported in life demands this from bottle of the best gooseberry-wine, to keep up me, and my tenderness as a parent shall never our spirits. I have wept so much at all sorts influence my integrity as a man. Name then of elegies of late, that without an enlivening your day; let it be as distant as you think glass, I am sure this will overcome me; and proper; and in the mean time, take care to Sophy, love, take your guitar, and thrum in let Mr Thornhill know the exact time on with the boy a little." which I design delivering you up to another. If he really loves you his own good sense will readily suggest that there is but one method alone to prevent his losing you for ever."This proposal, which she could not avoid considering as perfectly just, was readily agreed to. She again renewed her most positive promise of marrying Mr Williams, in case of the other's insensibility; and at the next opportunity, in Mr Thornhill's presence, that day month was fixed upon for her nuptials with his rival. Such vigorous proceedings seemed to redouble Mr Thornhill's anxiety: but what Olivia really felt gave me some uneasiness. In this struggle between prudence and passion, her vivacity quite forsook her, and every opportunity of solitude was sought, and spent in tears. One week passed away; but Mr Thornhill made no efforts to restrain her nuptials. The succeeding week he was still assiduous: but not more open. On the third he discontinued his visits entirely, and instead of my daughter testifying any impatience, as I expected, she seemed to retain a pensive tranquillity, which I looked upon as resignation. For my own part, I was now sincerely pleased with thinking that my child was going to be secured in a continuance of competence and peace, and frequently applauded her resolution, in preferring happiness to ostentation. It was within about four days of her intended nuptials, that my little family at night were gathered round a charming fire, telling stories of the past, and laying schemes for the future; 66 AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG. Good people all, of every sort, Give ear unto my song, It cannot hold you long. In Islington there was a man, Of whom the world might say, Whene'er he went to pray. A kind and gentle heart he had, When he put on his clothes. And in that town a dog was found; This dog and man at first were friends; But when a pique began, Around from all the neighbouring streets The wound it seemed both sore and sad |