1

A wit, Mr. Rambler, in the dialect of ladies, is not always a man, who, by the action of a vigorous fancy upon comprehenfive knowledge, brings diftant ideas unexpectedly together, who by fome peculiar acuteness discovers resemblance in objects diffimilar to common eyes, or by mixing heterogeneous notions dazzles the attention with fudden fcintillations of conceit. A lady's wit is a man who can make ladies laugh, to which, however eafy it may feem, many gifts of nature, and attainments of art, must commonly concur. He that hopes to be conceived as a wit in female affemblies, should have a form neither fo amiable as to strike with admiration, nor fo coarse as to raise disguft, with an understanding too feeble to be dreaded, and too forcible to be defpifed. The other parts of the character are more fubject to variation; it was formerly effential to a wit, that half his back fhould be covered with a fnowy fleece, and at a time yet more remote no man was a wit without his boots. In the days of the Spectator a fnuff-box feems to have been indifpenfible; but in my time an embroidered coat was fufficient, without any precise regulation of the rest of his drefs.

But wigs and boots and fnuff-boxes are vain, without a perpetual resolution to be merry, and who canalways find fupplies of mirth? Juvenal indeed, in his comparison of the two oppofite philofophers, wonders only whence an unexhaufted fountain of tears could be discharged: but had Juvenal, with all his Ipirit, undertaken my province, he would have found conftant gaiety equally difficult to be fupported. Confider, Mr. Rambler, and compaffionate the condition of a man, who has taught every company to expect from him a continual feaft of laughter, an

uninter

unintermitted stream of jocularity. The task of every other flave has an end. The rower in time reaches the port; the lexicographer at laft finds the conclufion of his alphabet; only the haplefs wit has his labour always to begin, the call for novelty is never fatisfied, and one jest only raises expectation of another.

I know that among men of learning and afperity, the retainers to the female world are not much regarded; yet I cannot but hope that if you knew at how dear a rate our honours are purchafed, you would look with fome gratulation on our fuccess, and with some pity on our miscarriages. Think on the mifery of him who is condemned to cultivate barrenness and ranfack vacuity; who is obliged to continue his talk when his meaning is fpent, to raise merriment without images, to harafs his imagination in queft of thoughts which he cannot ftart, and his memory in purfuit of narratives which he cannot overtake; observe the effort with which he trains to conceal defpondency by a fmile, and the diftrefs in which he fits while the eyes of the company are fixed upon him as their laft refuge from filence and dejection.

It were endlefs to recount the shifts to which I have been reduced, or to enumerate the different species of artificial wit. I regularly frequented coffeehouses, and have often lived a week upon an expreffion, of which he who dropped it did not know the value. When fortune did not favour my erratick industry, I gleaned jefts at home from obfolete farces. To collect wit was indeed fafe, for I conforted with none that looked much into books, but

to disperse it was the difficulty. A feeming negligence was often useful, and I have very successfully made a reply not to what the lady had faid, but to what it was convenient for me to hear; for very few were so perverse as to rectify a mistake which had given occafion to a burft of merriment. Sometimes I drew the converfation up by degrees to a proper point, and produced a conceit which I had treasured up, like sportsmen who boaft of killing the foxes which they lodge in the covert. Eminence is however in some happy moments gained at lefs expence ; I have delighted a whole circle at one time with a feries of quibbles, and made myself good company at another, by fcalding my fingers, or mistaking a lady's lap for my own chair.

These are artful deceits and useful expedients; but expedients are at length exhaufted, and deceits detected. Time itself, among other injuries, diminishes the power of pleafing, and I now find in my fortyfifth year many pranks and pleasantries very coldly received, which had formerly filled a whole room with jollity and acclamation. I am under the melancholy neceffity of fupporting that character by study, which I gained by levity, having learned too late that gaiety must be recommended by higher qualities, and that mirth can never please long but as the efflorescence of a mind loved for its luxuriance, but efteemed for its usefulness.

I am, &c.

PAPILIUS,

NUMB. 142. SATURDAY, July 27, 1751.

SIR,

HA

To the RAMBLER.

HOMER.

POPE.

AVING been accustomed to retire annually from the town, I lately accepted the invitation of Eugenio, who has an eftate and feat in a diftant county. As we were unwilling to travel without improvement, we turned often from the direct road to please ourfelves with the view of nature or of art; we examined every wild mountain and medicinal fpring, criticifed every edifice, contemplated every ruin, and compared every fcene of action with the narratives of hiftorians. By this fucceffion of amusements we enjoyed the exercise of a journey without fuffering the fatigue, and had nothing to regret but that, by a progress fo leifurely and gentle, we miffed the adventures of a poft-chaife, and the pleasure of alarming villages with the tumult

of our paffage, and of disguising our infignificancy by the dignity of hurry.

The first week after our arrival at Eugenio's houfe was paffed in receiving vifits from his neighbours, who crowded about him with all the eagerness of benevolence; fome impatient to learn the news of the court and town, that they might be qualified by authentick information to dictate to the rural politicians on the next bowling day; others defirous of his interest to accommodate disputes, or of his advice in the settlement of their fortunes and the marriage of their children.

The civilities which he had received were foon to be returned; and I paffed fome time with great fatisfaction in roving through the country, and viewing the feats, gardens, and plantations, which are fcattered over it. My pleasure would indeed have been greater had I been fometimes allowed to wander in a park or wildernefs alone, but to appear as the friend of Eugenio was an honour not to be enjoyed without fome inconveniencies; fo much was every one folicitous for my regard, that I could feldom escape to folitude, or steal a moment from the emulation of complaifance, and the vigilance of officiousness.

In these rambles of good neighbourhood, we frequently paffed by a house of unusual magnificence. While I had my curiofity yet diftracted among many novelties, it did not much attract my obfervation; but in a fhort time I could not forbear furveying it with particular notice; for the length of the wall which inclofed the gardens, the difpofition of the fhades that waved over it, and the canals, of which I could