In her relation, speaking of her privilege, in being descended from godly parents,* she says, "They used their utmost endeavors to bring me up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. When I was young, they instructed me in the principles of religion: They often told me what a sinful nature I brought into the world, and the lost condition I was in, while I was in that state: They often told me what obligations I was under by my baptism, to serve God and give up myself to him. They often put me upon the duty of secret prayer, minding me of that passage, Matt. vi. 6, Enter into thy closet,' &c." I mention this, to excite parents now to do likewise with regard to their children; and no doubt they would often see the happy fruit of their labor.

Her faith and patience were very remarkable, for a great number of years. I cannot say justly when she arrived at the full assurance of faith, which she enjoyed, without interruption, through the greater part of her life. This did not begin later than the year 1716, when she was about 29 years old. I find, by one of her private papers, that she set apart the 9th day of August, 1716, for a day of peculiar devotion, and particularly to look into the state of her soul, by strict self-examination. She went over a number of the distinguishing marks of grace, one by one, and then looked into her own heart, and life, to see if she could find them there. Such as true godly sorrow for sin-a cordial acceptance of Christ, by faith, in all his offices-a supreme love to God, and Christa delight in his ordinances-an endeavor after universal obedience to the divine will-a peculiar affection to those that she esteemed to be real Christians-a readiness to forgive those that had injured and abused her. The result of this examination was a full evidence in her favor and from this time, I believe, she never after had any doubts and fears, as to her gracious estate.

:

I would, from hence, take occasion to recommend the duty of serious self-examination, and setting apart special seasons for the performance of it. However, I must observe, concerning this excellent Christian; that she did not think that the joy and assurance of faith, were obtained by Christians generally, in the way of self-examination, and barely by looking for the evidences of grace, in a sanctified temper and life. I find her sentiments on this head, in several of her papers, particularly in a letter to one of her brothers, advising him in what way he might be most likely to obtain full satisfaction, as to his good estate, and arise to the assurance of faith. She advises him daily to be renewing the dedication of himself to God, through Christ; and to endeavor repeatedly to act faith on Christ, as he is offered to sinners in the gospel. She said that a Christian might have a consciousness of

*The pious Mr. Jonathan Metcalf, for many years a deacon of the First Church in Dedham, was her father.

the truth, and sincerity of his faith, in the very actings of it; and know that he believed, to the saving of his soul, by the witness of God's Spirit, with his own. This assurance of faith, from the direct acts of it, and from the immediate testimony of God's Spirit, she strongly held to, as I have often found, by conversing with her on the subject. And yet as constantly affirmed, that they who have believed in Christ, will be careful to maintain good works.

Ever since I knew her,* she appeared strong in faith, giving glory to God. Faith seemed to be the great governing principle of her life; and, so far as I could judge, had all the distinguishing marks of that faith, by which the just do live.

It purified her heart. I have often heard her say, that she knew sin was her greatest burden; and that she desired above every thing to be wholly free from it, and to be perfectly holy and conformed to God. Often have I heard her say: "Oh when will the time come, that I shall dishonor God no more by sin! I long, I long for it!" +

Her faith overcame the world. It raised her heart so much above any fond attachment to it, or any of its enjoyments, that I have heard her say; "For more than 50 years, the thought of death has been pleasant to me; I have been constantly willing, yea desirous, if it be the will of God, to depart, and to be with Christ."

Her faith also worked by love. It represented to her the infinite amiableness of her God, and Saviour: I have heard her frequently say, in a very solemn, but assured manner-" Lord, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee; and that I love thee above all things S-I exceedingly love God's word;

*She was about 68 years old when I first became acquainted with her. The following extracts from her private writings, which I shall throw into the margin, were mostly wrote about 50 years ago, when she was 30 years of age, or a little more: These show her long ago to have made great attainments in the Christian life.

+ In one of her papers, she writes, "O the distinguishing goodness of God to me! Oh that I might never sin against this good God any more! O that I were quite out of the reach of sin-that I could always do those things which please God, and be constantly in the sensible exercise of ardent love to God-and continually swallowed up, in meditations upon his eternal unchangeable love!-There is nothing in this world, that I do so much desire, and I hope labor after, as perfect conformity to the word and law of God, in all things. And because I may not expect to attain perfection in this world, I cannot but long for heaven, where I know I shall be perfectly freed from all sin, and be made perfect in holiness."

On a Sabbath evening, she writes: "I hope it hath not been altogether an unprofitable day to me. I hope, I may say, that I have met with God, at least, in some parts of his public worship; and that he hath come into my heart, by his Spirit, strengthening my faith, and raising my affections. Blessed be God, who is still continuing unto me the joy of his salvation. He hath been pleased to make me so weary of this world, that I cannot take much delight in any thing I do of a worldly nature: 1 do exceedingly long to be absent from the body, and present with the Lord."

§ In one of her papers, dated July, 1716, there are these expressions: "Blessed be God, I can say I love my dear Saviour, in whom, though I now see him not,

I prize it above my necessary food-I dearly love the ordinances of God, and have taken inexpressible satisfaction in attending on them. I dearly love the people and children of God."

Her faith rested on the promises of God, as a source of strong consolation to her. I have often heard her say; "O the sweet and precious promises of the gospel! I prize them above gold; they are sweeter to me than honey and the honey-comb. I know that they are all true and faithful. He is faithful that hath promised." I have often heard her mention particular promises, which have been peculiarly refreshing to her; and tell how she had spent almost whole nights, in meditations upon them, and had thereby enjoyed the highest satisfaction, which she imagined to be possible, for a poor imperfect creature in this world.

Her faith represented to her, in a strong, affecting light, the reality and importance of invisible and eternal things. This made her exceedingly solicitous for the good of souls; this made her very careful to instruct, and counsel her children, and her grandchildren, in the latter part of her life, and daily to stir them up to their duty; as I have often heard many of them declare.* This made her long for the revival of religion; and rejoice in any tokens of it. And as God has encouraged us to pray for the outpouring of his Spirit, I have often heard her express her earnest desire, since her confinement, that the church and people of God

yet believing, I rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory. Blessed be God who hath enabled me to say, with Peter, Lord, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee. God hath enabled me, not only to see and read my love to him, in loving his word and commandments, and in loving of his image in his saints, and in loving communion with him, in duties and ordinances, but also to feel such an inflamed love, such an endeared love, as makes my heart almost break, with longing after the full fruition of him."

"There is more, yea ten thousand times more, delight and pleasure to be found in the hardest duties of religion, than in the most beloved sins. Did sinners know what joy, and inward peace, and satisfaction, the saints of God do meet with, in serving him, in this world, they would not be such fools, as to expect more pleasure in the ways of sin. Oh that I might, some way or other, be instrumental of bring ing others to an esteem and liking of the ways of holiness and religion! My conscience beareth me witness, that I earnestly long after the conversion, and salvation of others; especially of those that are my near relations and acquaintance. But how shall I be serviceable to any, in this matter; seeing I am so reserved and slow of speech, in spiritual things? If I can do this no other way; let me endeavor to do what I can, by my earnest prayers to God for them; and if it be possible, by setting such an example before them, as may recommend religion and holiness to them."In another paper she writes

"God has been pleased to give me another Sabbath, and opportunity to wait upon him, in his house. I desire with my whole soul to bless and praise his name, for what I have been made to experience therein. In the close of the day, there were three persons taken into the church. Such sights of late, have been very rare. I thought it was a very pleasant and lovely sight indeed. God was pleased to incline me earnestly to desire, that he would accept of them, and bless them, and that they might be prepared to enjoy communion with him, at his table; and that he would quicken and enable others to an actual giving up themselves to God, in that ordinance. My affections were so raised, in the sense of the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, that I was almost overcome with tears of love, and praise, and joy."

in this place, would set apart some seasons for extraordinary prayer, for the outpouring of his Spirit, particularly on the rising generation. And such desires I find she strongly expressed to the Rev. Mr. Dexter, in some serious and pious letters, which she sent to him above forty years ago. These desires, I doubt not, were from the Spirit of God. And would not our compliance with the thing therein suggested, be a reasonable service? God has declared himself ready to "give the Holy Spirit to those that ask him."

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Her faith was productive of sublime joy and delight in God. By "faith having access into that grace wherein she stood, she rejoiced in hope of the glory of God." Believing, she rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory." I seldom ever saw her, without hearing her express the wonderful and almost unspeakable comfort and delight, which she found in the service of God; in communion with him; and in the assured prospect of enjoying him for ever, in his kingdom. When she spake of these things, she seemed to be in raptures of love and thankfulness. But amidst all her extraordinary attainments in grace and comfort, I can truly say, I never observed any thing that had the least appearance of pride or self-exaltation, but constant marks of great humility and self-abasement. She always spoke of herself as a great sinner, as one of the meanest and most unworthy of all God's children. She was often quite overwhelmed with tears, when she mentioned God's great goodness to her, in making such clear discoveries of his love to her soul. She ascribed it to free, rich and condescending grace. Often have I heard her cry out in such language as the following, "O the wonderful! wonderful! grace of God to such a poor unworthy worm of the dust, as I am! I am astonished to think of it! I cannot but call upon every one to praise and admire such rich and sovereign grace. I am grieved, and ashamed, that I make such poor returns: I long to depart and go to heaven, that with enlarged powers, I may bless and praise God, to all eternity."-A great deal of such language I find in her private papers, written through a course of years. Such in general were the fruits and effects of the faith of this eminent saint lately called away from among us.

Her patience also was illustrious in its exercise. This was tried in suffering afflictions; and in waiting for the accomplishment of her hopes.

She passed through several heavy trials in her family; and the uncommon one of total blindness for about nineteen years: In the ten last years of her life, she was exercised with great bodily pains and infirmities. Under all these afflictions I never could observe any sign of impatience: And I have heard others, who were more frequently with her, make the same remark. I have

often heard her speak of her trials, in the most meek and submissive manner, as ordered by a wise, a kind, and a good God; and say, "My God knows that I have need of them, else he would not send them. His will is a good will; I desire to have my will wholly swallowed up in his. He has graciously promised, that all things shall work together for good, to them that love him.' O this sweet and supporting promise! Not only some, but all things shall work for the good of such: And blessed be God, I know and feel that I love him above all things; I welcome his holy will."

But the greatest trial of her patience, since I knew her, was her being kept here in the body, and from those enjoyments, which she looked and longed for, in heaven. And she often lamented that her patience, as to this thing, was no more perfect and constant. Having such transporting views of the happiness of heaven, and such unclouded evidences of her own title to it; her desires to come into full possession of it, were so ardent, and intense, as hardly to consist with a patient waiting frame; yet I have heard her, I believe scores of times, express herself in the following manner : "God knows I desire to be perfectly patient. I strive and pray to be so. God's time to dismiss me from this body of sin and death, I know is the best: I desire to wait for it: But I long to have it hastened! I cannot but long for it: God allows me to long for it; and this I hope is not inconsistent with patience." And then, recovering herself from the vehement expressions of desire, she would say: "Well, I know the time will come, when I shall sin no more; when I shall be brought into the immediate presence of God and my Saviour. The long looked for-hoped for-waited for-and prayed for time will And often have I heard her repeat the following lines, from Mr. Flavel,

come."

"The time seems long, yet here I lie

Until my God shall call :

It is enough; eternity

Will make amends for all."*

Her desires seem to have increased, as she drew nearer to the object of them. The last time that I saw her, when she was able to speak, she begged for a patient waiting frame, but lamented the want of it. She uttered the following, and many such like expressions. "I have thought myself just going, for several days,

* In a paper dated July, beginning, 1716, she writes, "I am afraid, lest I should be too weary of the world, and too earnest in my desires after death: But I hope, I desire earnestly, that I may freely, entirely, and cheerfully submit to the will of God herein, both as to the time, and manner thereof, and with Job, patiently to wait all the days of my appointed time till my change shall come."