Lady. But-who are those that old David doth let through Most beauteous and most princely. The LADY. SIR REGINALD Buckdale de REINE. GIULIANA. MASTER ROBERT BUCKDALE, Reg. Ah! I know them. Welcome, dear Giuliana; welcome, Rob,- As to thee, Master Buckland,this sweet lady, And soon I trust of both ;-may I not add, love, When thou wilt be my brother's brother's bride, Giu. Ye amaze me. A sister never known-so strangely found! Most lovely lady, may I really give The kiss of sisterhood? or doth Sir Reginald Mean merrily but my bridegroom's brother's wife,- Touching the cup and lip, and slip between, Lady. As ye first proposed it. I think, my lovely, lightsome, laughing sister; So we will kiss, nor fear lest the sun-stains Of this my foreign cheek should spoil that fair one. Rob. Brother, thou deal'st in mysteries. Come, clear them. Can'st thou not introduce me to a ghost? Pardon, sweet lady, if my guess have call'd A blush to your bright cheek. Lady. Giu. Then, why tell me A word in edgeways to pronounce my leave. Come, Reginald,-excuse my freedom, sister: The gentleman was an old flame of mine; Shall he be still so, Rob?-Come, Reginald, VOL. XVIII. 3 N Up to yon flowerbank, and from thence enlighten Lady. Sister sweet, Nay; herein ye usurp authority Rob. Some hows and whys we see not:-but 'tis plain, A double bridal sets all right again: And that, by hook or crook, will come in turn. Gui. With fathers smiling on our linked hands, This seems most like. If not-why, well-match'd hearts, The double marriage whereof late ye spake. Rob. Threat on, terrific tongue; I'll not withdraw my stake. STILL FARTHER PORTIONS OF THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MANSIE WAUCH, TAILOR. A Tailor is a man, a man, a man, PORTION FIFTH. THE sough of war and invasion gaed o'er the face of the land, at this time, like a great whirlwind; and the hearts of men died within their persons with fear and trembling. The accounts that came from abroad were just dreadful beyond all power of description: Death stalked about from place to place, like a lawless tyrant, and the blood of men was spilt like water. The heads of crowned kings were cut off; great dukes and lords thrown into dark dungeons, or obligated to flee for their lives into foreign lands, and to seek out hiding-places of safety beyond the waves of the sea. What was warst of all, our trouble seemed a smittal one; the infection spread around; and even our ain land, which all thought hale and healthy, began to show symptoms of the plague-spot. Losh me! that men, in their seven senses, could have ever shown themselves so infatuated. Johnny Wilkes and liberty was but a joke to what was hanging over our heads, brewing like a dark tempest, which was to Old Song. swallow us up. Bills were paisted up through night, by hands that durstna' have been seen at the wark through day; and the augents of the Spirit of Darkness, calling themselves the friends of the people, held secret meetings, and hatched plots to blaw up our blessed King and Constitution. Oh! the stupid neerdoweels - but what can ye get out of fules but foolishness? as King Solomon wisely observes, Proverbs, chap. vii. ver. 10. Yet the business, though fearsome in the main, was in some parts amaist laughable. Every thing was to be divided, and ilka ane made alike: houses and lands were to be distributed by lot; and the mighty man and the beggar-the auld man and the hobble-de-hoy-the industrious man and the spendthrift-the maimed, the cripple, and the blind, made a' just breethren, and alike. Save us! but to think of such havers !!-At ane of their meetings, hadden out at the sign of the Tappet Hen and the Tankard, there was a prime fight between Tam my Bowsie the srab, and auld Thrash im the dominie with the booly back, about their drawing cuts, whilk was to get Dalkeith Palace, and whilk New battle Abbey.-Oh, sic rif-raff!!! What was warst of all, it was an agreed and determined-on thing amang them, these wise men of the North, to abolish all kings, clergy, and religion, as havers. Na, na-what need had such wise pows as theirs, of being taught or lectured to? What need had sic feelosophers of having a King to rule ower them, or a Parliament to direct them? There was nae a single ane amang their number, that did not think himself, in his own conceit, as wise as Solomon, or William Pitt, and as mighty as King Nebuchadnezzar. It was full time to put a stop to all such nonsense. The newspapers telled us what it had done abroad, and what better could we expect from it at hame? Weeds 'ill no grow into flowers onywhere, and nae man can handle tar without being defiled; the first of whilk comparisons is I daur say true, and the latter maun be-for we read of it in Scripture. Weel, as I was saying, it was a braw notion of the King to put the loyalty of his land to the test, that the daft folk might be dismayed, and that the clanjamphrey might tumble down before their betters, like windle-straes in a hurricane:-and so they did. Siccan a crowd that day, when the names of the volunteers cam to be taen down! Nae house could have hadden them, even though mony hadna come wha thought to have got their names enrolled. Losh me! did they think the government was sae far gone, as to tak creatures with deformed legs, and thrawn necks, and blind een, and hashie lips, and grey hairs on their pows? Na, na, they were na putten to sic straits; though it showed that the right speerit was in them, and that, though their bodies might be deformed, they had consciences to direct them, and souls to be saved like their neighbours. I'll never forget the first day that I got my regimentals on; and when I looked mysell in the bit glass, just to think I was a sodger, wha never in my life could thole the smell of powder, and hadna fired onything but a penny cannon on a Fourth of June, when I was a haflins callant. I thocht my throat wad have been cuttit in the black corded stock; for, whenever I lookit down, without thinking like, my chaft blade played clank against it with sic a dunt, that I mostly chackit my tongue aff. And, as to the soaping of the hair, that beat cockfighting. It was really fearsome, but I could scarcely keep from laughing when I glee'd round ower my shouther, and saw a lang glazed leather queue hinging for half an ell down the braid of my back, and a pickle horse hair curling out like a rotten's tail at the far end o't. And then the worsted taissels on the shouthers-and the lead buttons-and the yellow facings,-oh but it was grand! I sometimes fancied mysell a general, and gieing the word of command. Then the pipe-clayed breeks-but that was a sair job; mony a weary arm did they gie me-bait, baiting campstane into them. The pipe-claying of the breeks, I was saying, was the most fashious job, let alane courtship, that ever mortal man put his hand to. Indeed, there was no end to the rubbing, and scrubbing, and brushing, and foiling, and cleaning; for, to the like of me, wha was nae weel accustomed to the thing, the whitening was continually coming aff, and destroying my red coat, or my black leggins. I had amaist forgot to speak of the birse for cleaning out the pan, and the piker for clearing the motion-hole. But time eneugh till we come to firing. Big Sam, wha was a sergeant of the Fencibles, and aneugh to have putten five Frenchmen to flight ony day of the year, whiles cam to train us-and a hard battle he had with mair than me. I have already said, that nature never intended me for the soldiering trade; and why should I hesitate about confessing, that Sam never got me out of the awkward squad? but I had twa three neibours to keep me in countenance. A weary wark we made with the right, left, left, right,-right-wheel, left-wheel,-to the right about,—at ease,-attention,-by sections,-and all the rest o't. But then there is nothing in the course of nature that is useless; and what was to hinder me from acting as orderly, or being ane of the camp-colour-men on head days? We all cracked very crouse about fighting, when we heard of garments rolled in blood, only from abroad; but, ae dark night, we got a fleg in sober earnest. all loaden, and ready to follow us to the field of battle; we were sent hame to our beds, and notwithstanding the awful state of alarm to which I had been putten, never in the course of my life did I enjoy six hours sounder sleep; for we were hippet the morning parade, on account of our being keepit sae lang without natural rest. It is wise to pick a lesson even out of our adversities; and, at all events, it was at this time fully shown to us the needcessity of our regiment being taught the art of firing-a tactic to the length of which they had never yet come. Next day, out we were taen for the whilk purpose, and we gaed through our motions bravely. Prime-loadhandle cartridge-ram down cartridge -return bayonets-and shoulder hoop There were signal-posts on the hills, up and down all the country, to make alarms, in case of needcessity; and I never gaed to my bed, without giving first a glee eastward to Falside-brae, and then anither westward to the Calton-hill, to see that all the country was quiet. I had just pappit in-it might be about nine o'clock,-after being gay hard drilled, and sair atween the shouthers, wi' keeping my head back, and playing the dumb-bells; when lo! and behold, instead of getting my needful rest, in my ain bed, with my wife and weans, jow gaed the bell, and row-de-dow gaed the drums, and all, in a minute, was confusion and uproar. I was seized with a severe shaking of the knees, and a flaff-make ready-present-fire. Such ing at the heart; but I hurried, with my night-cap on, up to the garret window, and there I too plainly saw that the French had landed-for all the signalposts were in a bleeze. This was in reality to be a soldier! I never got sie a fright since the day I was cleckit. Then sic a noise and hullabaloo, in the streets-men, women, and weans, all hurrying through ither, and crying with loud voices, amid the dark, as if the day of judgment had come, to find us all unprepared; and still the bells ringing, and the drums beating to arms. Poor Nanse was in a bad condition, and I was weil waur; she, at the fears of losing me, their breadwinner; and I, wi' the grief of parting frae her, the wife of my bosom, and going out to scenes of blood, bagonets, and gunpowder, nane of which I had the least stamach for. Our little son, Bengie, mostly grat himsell blind, pulling me back by the cartridge-box; but there was nae contending with fate, so he was obliged at last to let go. Notwithstanding all that, we behaved oursells like true-blue Scotsmen, called forth to feight the battles of our country; and, if the French had come, as they didna come, they would have found that to their cost, as sure as my name is Mansie. However, it turned out as weil, in the meantime, that it was a false alarm; and that the thief Buonaparte had not landed at Dumbar, as it was jaloused; so, after standing under arms for half the night, with nineteen rounds of ball-cartridge in our boxes, and the baggage carts was the confusion, and the flurry, and the din of the report, that I was so flustered and confused, that, will ye believe it? I never yet had mind to pull the tricker. Howsomever, I minded aye wi' the rest to ram down a fresh cartridge, at the word of command; and something told me I wad repent no doing like the lave, (for I had half a kind of notion that my piece never went off;) so, when the firing was over, the sergeant of the company ordered all that had loaded pieces to come to the front. I swi thered a little, no being very sure like what to do; but some five or six stappit out; and our corporal, on looking at my piece, ordered me with the rest to the front. It was just for all the world like an execution; us six, in the face of the regiment, in a little line, going through our manœuvres at the word of command; and I could hardly stand upon my feet, with a queer feeling of fear and trembling, till, at length, the terrible moment came. I looked straight forrit-for I durstna jee my head about, and turned to the hills and green trees, as if I was never to see nature more. Our pieces were cocked; and, at the word, off they went. It was an act of desperation to draw the tricker, and I had hardly weel shut my e'en, when I got such a thump in the shoulder, as knocked me backwards head-overheels on the grass. Before I came to my senses, I could have sworn I was in another world; but, when I opened my een, there were the men, at ease, hadding their sides, laughing like to spleet them; and my gun lying on the ground, twa three ell before me. When I found mysell no killed out right, I began to rise up. As I was rubbing my breek-knees, I saw ane of the men gaen forward to lift up the fatal piece; and my care for the safety of ithers o'ercame the sense of my own peril," Let alane-let alane!" cried I to him," and take care of yoursell, for it has to gang aff five times yet.” The laughing was now terrible; but being little of a soldier, I thocht in my innocence, that we should hear as mony reports, as I had crammed cartridges down her muzzle. This was a sair joke against me for a length of time; but I tholed it patiently, considering cannily within mysell, that knowledge is only to be bought by experience. A fule ance showed me the story afterwards in a jeest book, as if it wasna true!!! SIXTH PORTION. At the kirstening of our youngest bairn, Baby, two or three remarkable circumstances occurred, which it behoves me to relate. It was on a cauld November afternoon; and really when the bit room was all redd up, the fire bleezing away, and the candles lighted, every thing looked full tosh and comfortable. It was a real pleasure, after looking out into the drift that was fleeing like mad from the east, to turn one's neb inwards, and think that we had a civilized home to comfort us in the dreary season. So, ane after anither, the bit party, we had invited to the ceremony, came papping in; and the crack began to get loud and hearty; for, to speak the truth, we were blessed with canny friends, and a gude neighbourhood. Notwithstanding, it was very curious, that I had nae mind of asking doun James Batter, the weaver, honest man, though he was one of our ain elders; and in pappit James, just when the company had haflins met; with his stocking-sleeves on his arms; his night-cap on his head; and his blue-stained apron, hinging doun before him, to light his pipe at our bit fire. James, when he saw his mistake, was fain to make his retreat; but we wadna hear tell o't, till he cam in, and took a dram out of the bottle, as we tell't him the no doing so wad spoil the wean's beauty, which is an auld freak, (the small-pox, however, after wards did that ;) so, with much perswasion, he took a chair for a gliff, and began with some of his drolls, for he was a clever, humoursome man, as ye ever met with. But he had now got far on with his jeests, when lo! a rap came to the door, and Mysie whippet away the bottle under her apron, saying "wheesht, wheesht, for the sake of gudeness, there's the minister." The room had only ae door, and Jamie mistook it, rinning his head, for lack of knowledge, into the open closet, just as the minister lifted the outer door sneck. We were all now sitting on nettles, for we were frighted that Jamie wad be seized with a cough, for he was a wee asthmatic, or that some, knowing there was a thief in the pantry, might hurt good manners by breaking out intill a giggle. However, all for a considerable time was quiet, and the ceremony was performed; little Nancy, our niece, handing the bairn upon my arm to receive its name. So, we thocht, as the minister seldom made a long stay on similar occasions, that all wad pass off weel eneugh. But wait a wee. There was but ane of our company that hadna cast up, to wit, Deacon Paunch the flesher, a most worthy man, but tremendously big, and grown to the very heels, as was ance seen on a wager, that his ankle was gritter than my brans. It was really a pain to all feeling Christians, to see the worthy man waigling about, being, when weighed in his own scales, two-andtwenty stane, nineteen ounces, Dutch weight. Honest man, he had had a sair feight wi' the wind and the sleet, and he came in wi' a shawl roppined round his neck, peching like a brokenwinded horse; so fain was he to find a rest for his weary carcase in our stuffed chintz pattern elbow-chair by the fire cheek. From the soughing of wind at the window, and the rattling in the lum, it was clear to all manner of compre hension, that the night was a dismal ane; so the minister, seeing so mony |