To Dr. LEWIS.

DEAR LEWIS,

YOUR fable of the monkey and the pig, is what the Italians call ben trovata, but I shall not repeat it to my apothecary, who is a proud Scotchman, very thin skinned, and, for ought I know, may have his degree in his pocket-A right Scotchman has always two ftrings to his bow, and is in utrumque paratus Certain it is, I have not 'fcaped a fcouring; but, I believe, by means of that fcouring, I have 'fcaped fomething worfe, perhaps tedious fit of the gout or rheumatifm; for my appetite began to flagg, and I had certain croakings in the bowels which boded me no good-Nay, I am not yet quite free of thefe remembrances, which warn me to be gone from this centre of infecti

on

What temptation can a man of my turn and temperament have, to live in a place where every corner teems with fresh objects of deteftation and difguft? What kind of taste and organs must those people have, who really prefer the adulterate enjoyments of the town to the genuine pleafures of a country retreat? Moft people, I know, are originally feduced by vanity, ambition, and childish curiofity; which cannot be gratified, but in the bufy haunts of men: but, in the courfe of this gratification, their very organs of sense are perverted, and they become habitually loft to every relifh of what is genuine and excellent in its own nature.

Shall I ftate the difference between my town. grievances, and my country comforts? At Brambleton-hall, I have elbow-room within doors, and breathe a clear, elaftic, falutary airI enjoy re-. VOL. I.

Η

freshing

freshing fleep, which is never difturbed by horrid noise, nor interrupted, but in a morning, by the sweet twitter of the martlet at my window-I drink the virgin lymph, pure and crystalline as it gufhes from the rock, or the sparkling beverage, home-brewed from malt of my own making; or I indulge with cider, which my own orchard affords; or with claret of the best growth, imported for my own ufe, by a correfpondent on whofe integrity I can depend; my bread is sweet and nourifhing, made from my own wheat, ground in my own mill, and baked in my own oven; my able is, in a great measure, furnished from my own ground; my five year old mutton, fed on the fragrant herbage of the mountains, that might vie with venifon in juice and flavour; my delicious veal, fattened with nothing but the mother's milk, that fills the difh with gravy; my poultry from the barn-door, that never new confinement, but when they were at rooft; my rabbits panting from the warren; my game fresh from the moors; my trout and falmon ftruggling from the ftream; oyfters from their native banks; and herrings, with other fea-fifh, I can eat in four hours after they are taken-My fallads, roots, and pot-herbs, my own garden yields in plenty and perfection; the produce of the natural foil, prepared by moderate cultivation. The fame foil affords all the different fruits which England may call her own, fo that my defert is every day fresh-gathered from the tree; my dairy flows with nectarious tides of milk and cream, from whence we derive abundance of excellent butter, curds, and cheefe; and the refufe fattens my pigs, that are destined for hams and bacon-I go to bed betimes, and rife with the fun-I make shift to pass the hours without wearinefs or regret, and am not deftitute of amufements within doors, when the weather will not

permit

permit me to go abroad-I read, and chat, and play at billiards, cards, or back-gammon-Withour doors, I fuperintend my farm, and execute plans of improvement, the effects of which I enjoy with unfpeakable delight-Nor do take less pleasure in feeing my tenants thrive under my aufpices, and the poor live comfortably by the employment which I provide-You know I have one or two fenfible friends, to whom I can open all my heart; a bleffing which, perhaps, I might have fought in vain among the crowded fcenes of life: there are a few others of more humble parts, whom I esteem for their integrity; and their converfation I find inoffenfive, though not very entertaining. Finally, I live in the midst of honeft men, and trufty dependants, who, I flatter myself, have a difinterested attachment to my perfon- -You, yourfelf my dear doctor, can vouch for the truth of these affertions.

Now, mark the contraft at London-I am pent up in frowzy lodgings, where there is not room enough to fwing a cat; and I breathe the steams of endless putrefaction; and these would, undoubtedly, produce a peftilence, if they were not quali fied by the grofs acid of fea coal, which is itself a pernicious nuifance to lungs of any delicacy of texture: but even this boafted corrector cannot prevent those languid, fallow looks, that distinguish the inhabitants of London from those ruddy fwains that lead a country-life-I go to bed after mid-night, jaded and restless from the diffipations of the day-I ftart every hour from my fleep, at the horrid noife of the watchmen bawling the hour through every ftreet, and thundering at every door; a set of uselefs fellows, who ferve no other purpose but that of disturbing the repose of the inhabitants; and by five o'clock I ftart out of bed, in confequence of the ftill more dreadful alarm made

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made by the country carts, and noify ruftics bellowing green peafe under my window. If I would drink water, I muft quaff the maukish contents of an open aquaduct, expofed to all manner of defilement; or fwallow that which comes from the river Thames, impregnated with all the filth of London and Weftminifter-Human excrement is the leaft offenfive part of the concrete, which is compofed of all the drugs, minerals, and poifons, ufed in mechanics and manufactures, enriched with the putrefying carcafes of beafts and men; and mixed with the fcourings of all the wath-tubs, kennels, and common fewers, within the bill of mortality.

This is the agreeable potation, extolled by the Londoners, as the finest water in the universe As to the intoxicating potion, fold for wine, it is a vile, unpalatable, and pernicious fophiftication, balderdashed with cider, corn-fpirit, and the juice of floes. In an action at law, laid against a carman for having ftaved a cafk of port, it appeared from the evidence of the cooper, that there were not above five gallons of real wine in the whole pipe, which held above one hundred, and even that had been brewed and adulterated by the merchant at Oporto. The bread I eat in London, is a deleterous paste, mixed up with chalk, alum and bone-afhes; infipid to the taste, and destructive to the conftitution. The good people are not ignorant of this adulteration; but they prefer it to wholesome bread because it is whiter than the meal of corn: thus they facrifice their tafte and their health, and the lives of their tender infants, to a most abfurd gratification of a mif-judging eye; and the miller, or the baker, is obliged to poison them and their families, in order to live by his profeffion. The fame monftrous depravity appears in their veal, which is bleached by repeated bleed

ings,

ings, and other villanous arts, till there is not a drop of juice left in the body, aud the poor animal is paralytic before it dies; fo void of all tafte, nourishment, and favour, that a man might dine as comfortably on a white fricafee of kid-skin gloves, or chip hats from Leghorn.

As they have difcharged the natural colour from their bread, their butcher's-meat, and poultry, their cutlets, ragouts, fricaffees, and fauces of all kinds;. fo they infift upon having the complexion of their pot-herbs mended, even at the hazard of their lives. Perhaps, you will hardly believe they can be fo mad as to boil their greens with brafs halfpence, in order to improve their colour; and yet nothing is more true-Indeed, without this improvement in the colour, they have no perfonal merit. They are produced in an artificial foil, and taste of nothing but the dunghills, from whence they spring. My cabbage, cauliflower, and 'fparagus in the country, are as much fuperior in flavour to thofe that are fold in Covent-garden, as my heath-mutton is to that of St. James's market; which, in fact, is neither lamb nor mutton, but fomething betwixt the two, gorged in the rank fens of Lincoln and Effex, pale, coarfe, and frowzy-As for the pork, it is an abominable carnivorous animal, fed with horfe flesh and distillers grains; and the poultry is all rotten, in confequence of a fever, occafioned by the infamous. practice of fewing up the gut, that they may be the fooner fattened in coops, in confequence of this cruel retention.

Of the fish, I need fay nothing in this hot wea~ ther, but that it comes fixty, feventy, fourfcore and a hundred miles by land-carriage; a circumftance fufficient, without any comment, to turn a Dutchman's ftomach, even if his nofe was not faluted in every alley with the fweet flavour of fresh

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