But in truth, all this concern was diffembled. In his approaches of gallantry to Mrs. Tabitha, he had been misled by a mistake of at least fix thoufand pounds, in the calculation of her fortune; and in this particular he was juft undeceived. He, therefore, feized the first opportunity of incurring her difpleasure decently, in fuch a manner as would certainly annihilate the correfpondence; and he could not have taken a more effectual method, than that of beating her dog. When he prefented himfelf at our door, to pay his refpects to the offended fair, he was refused admittance; and given to understand, that he should never find her at home for the future. She was not fo inacceffible to Derrick, who came to demand fatisfaction for the infult fhe had offered to him, even in the verge of his own court. She knew it was convenient to be well with the mafter of the Ceremonies, while fhe cotinued to frequent the Rooms; and, having heard he was a poet, began to be afraid of making her appearance in a ballad or lampoon.---She therefore made excufes for what fhe had done, imputing it to the flutter of her fpirits; and fubfcribed handfomcly for his poems: fo that he was perfectly appeased, and overwhelmed her with a profufion of compliment. He even folicited a reconciliation with Chowder; which, however the latter declined; and he declared, that if he could find a precedent in the annals of the Bath, which he would carefully examine for that purpose, her favourite should be admitted to the next public breakfafting---But, I believe the will not expofe herself or him to the rifque of a fecond difgrace--Who will fupply the place of Mackilligut in her affections, I cannot forefee; but nothing in the fhape of a man can come. amifs. Though fhe is a violent church-woman, of the most intolerant zeal, I believe in my confcience fhe would have no objection, at prefent, to

1

treat

treat on the fcore of matrimony with an Anabaptift, Quaker, or Jew; and even ratify the treaty, at the expence of her own converfion. But, perhaps, I think too hardly of this kinfwoman; who, I muft own, is very little beholden to the good opinion of Yours,

Bath, May 6.

J. MELFORD.

To Dr. LEWIS.

YOU aik me, why I don't take the air a-horseback, during this fine weather ?-In which of the avenues of this paradife would you have me take that exercife? Shall I commit myself to the highroads of London or Briftol, to be ftifled with duft, or preffed to death in the midst of poft-chaises, flying-machines, waggons, and coal horfes, befides the troops of fine gentlemen that take to the highway to fhew their horfemanfhip! and the coaches of fine ladies, who go thither to fhew their equi pages? Shall I attempt the Downs, and fatigue myfelf to death in climbing up an eternal afcent, without any hopes of reaching the fummit? Know then, I have made divers defperate leaps at thofe upper regions; but always fell backward into this vapour pit, exhaufted and difpirited by thofe ineffectual efforts; and here we poor valetudinarians pant and ftruggle, like fo many Chinese gudgeons, gafping in the bottom of a punch-bowl. By Heaven it is a kind of inchantment! If I do not fpeedily break the fpell, and efcape, I may chance to give up the ghoft in this naufeous stew of corruption-It was but two nights ago, that I had like to have made my public exit, at a minute's warning. One of my greatest weakneffes is that of fuffering myfelf

to

to be over-ruled by the opinion of people, whofe judgment I defpife- I own, with fhame and confufion of face, that importunity of any kind I cannot refift. This want of courage and conftancy is an original flaw in my nature, which you must have often obferved with compaffion, if not with contempt. I am afraid some of our boasted virtues may be traced up to this defect.

Without further preamble, I was perfuaded to go to a ball, on purpose to fee Liddy dance a minuet with a young petulant jackanapes the only fon of a wealthy undertaker from London, whofe mother lodges in our neighbourhood, and has contracted an acquaintance with Tabby. I fat a couple of long hours, half stifled, in the midst of a noysome crowd; and could not help wondering, that fo many hundred of thofe that rank as rational creatures, could find entertainment in feeing a fucceffion of infipid animals, defcribing the fame dull figure for a whole evening, on an area, not much bigger than a taylor's fhop-board. If there had been any beauty, grace, activity, magnificent dress, or variety of any kind, howfoever abfurd, to engage the attention, and amuse the fancy, I should not have been surprised; but there was no fuch object: it was a tirefome repetition of the fame langued frivolous fcene, performed by actors that feemed to fleep in all their motions-The continual fwimming of thofe phantoms before my eyes, gave me a fwimming of the head; which was alfo affected by the fouled air, circulating through fuch a number of rotten human bellows--I therefore retreated towards the door, and stood in the paffage to the next room, talking to my friend Quin; when an end being put to the minuets, the benches were removed to make way for the countrydances; and the multitude rifing at once, the

whole

whole atmosphere was put in commotion. Then, all of a fudden, came rufhing upon me, an Egyptian gale, so ingregnated with peftilential vapours, that my nerves were overpowered, and I dropt fenfelefs upon the floor.

You may eafily conceive what a clamour and confufion this accident muft have produced, in fuch an affemblyI foon recovered, however, and found myself in an eafy chair, fupported by my own people-Sifter Tabby, in her great tenderness, had put me to the torture, fqueezing my head under her arm, and ftuffing my nofe with spirit of hartfhorn, till the whole infide was excoriated. I no fooner got home, than I fent for doctor Ch➡, who affured me, I needed not be alarmed, for my fwooning was entirely occafioned by an accidental impreffion of fetid effluvia upon nerves of uncommon fenfibility. I know not how other people's nerves are conftructed; but one would imagine they must be made of very coarse materials, to ftand the shock of fuch a horrid asfault. It was, indeed, a compound of villianous fmells, in which the moft violent ftinks, and the most powerful perfumes, contended for the maftery. Imagine to yourfelf a high exalted effence of mingled odours, arifing from putrid gums, imposthumated lungs,. four flatulencies, rank arm-pits, fweating feet, running fores and iffues; plafters, ointments, and embrocations, hungary-water, fpirit of lavender, affafoetida drops, mufk, hartfhorn, and fal volatile; befides a thousand frowzy ftreams, which I could not analyfe. Such, Ó Dick! is the fragrant æther we breathe in the polite affemblies of Bath-Such is the atmosphere I have exchanged for the pure, elastic, animating air of the Welsh mountains-O Rus, quando te afpiciam!-I wonder what the devil poffeffed meVOL. I. E

But

But few words are best: I have taken my refolution-You may well fuppose I don't intend to entertain the company with a fecond exhibition— I have promifed, in an evil hour, to proceed to London, and that promise shall be performed; but my ftay in the metroplis fhall be brief. I have, for the benefit of my health, projected an expedition to the North, which, I hope, will afford fome agreeable paftime. I have never travelled farther that way than Scarborough; and, I think, it is a reproach upon me, as a British freeholder, to have lived fo long without making an excurfion to the other fide of the Tweed. Befides, I have fome relations fettled in Yorkshire, to whom it may not be improper to introduce my nephew and his fifter At prefent, I have nothing to add, but that Tabby is happily disentangled from the Irish Baronet, and that I will not fail to make you acquainted, from time to time, with the fequel of our adventures; a mark of confideration, which, perhaps, you would willingly difpenfe with in

Your humble fervant,

Bath, May 8.

MATT. BRAMBLE.

To Sir WATKIN PHILIPS of Jefus College, OXON.

DEAR PHILIPS,

A FEW days ago we were terribly alarmed by my uncle's fainting at the ball-He has been ever fince curfing his own folly, for going thi ther at the request of an inpertinent woman. He declares, he will fooner vifit a houfe infected with the plague, than truft himself in fuch a naufeous fpital for the future, for he swears the

accident