1711 thing of the largest, and had two Entrances, the one by No. 9. a Door of a moderate Size, and the other by a Pair of Saturday, Folding-doors. If a Candidate for this Corpulent Club March 10, could make his Entrance through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the Passage, and could not force his Way through it, the Folding Doors were immediately thrown open for his Reception, and he was saluted as a Brother. I have heard that this Club, though it consisted but of fifteen Persons, weighed above three Tun. In Opposition to this Society, there sprung up another composed of Scare-crows and Skeletons, who being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the Designs of their Bulky Brethren, whom they represented as Men of Dangerous Principles; till at length they worked them out of the Favour of the People, and con sequently out of the Magistracy. These Factions tore the Corporation in Pieces for several Years, till at length they came to this Accommodation; that the two Bailiffs of the Town should be annually chosen out of the two Clubs; by which means the principal Magis trates are at this Day coupled like Rabbets, one fat and one lean, Every one has heard of the Club, or rather the Con federacy, of the Kings. This grand Alliance was formed a little after the Return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it Men of all Qualities and Professions, provided they agreed in this Sirname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the Owners of it to be altogether untainted with Republican and AntiMonarchical Principles. A Christian Name has likewise been often used as a Badge of Distinction, and made the Occasion of a Club. That of the Georges, which used to meet at the Sign of the George, on St George's Day, and swear Before George, is still fresh in every one's Memory, There are at present in several Parts of this City what they call Street-Clubs, in which the chief Inhabitants of the Street converse together every Night. I remember, upon my enquiring after Lodgings in Ormond Street, the Landlord, to recommend that Quarter of the Town, told me 1711. No. 9, me, there was at that time a very good Club in it; he Saturday, also told me, upon further Discourse with him, that two March 10, or three noisie Country Squires, who were settled there the Year before, had considerably sunk the Price of House-Rent; and that the Club (to prevent the like Inconveniences for the future) had Thoughts of taking every House that became vacant into their own Hands, till they had found a Tenant for it, of a sociable Nature and good Conversation, The Hum-Drum Club, of which I was formerly an unworthy Member, was made up of very honest Gentle men, of peaceable Dispositions, that used to sit together, smoak their Pipes, and say nothing till Midnight. The Mum Club (as I am informed) is an Institution of the same Nature, and as great an Enemy to Noise. After these two innocent Societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the Reign of King Charles the Second: I mean the Club of Duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his Man. The President of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single Combat; and as for the other Members, they took their Seats accord ing to the Number of their Slain. There was likewise a Side Table, for such as had only drawn Blood, and shewn a laudable Ambition of taking the first Oppor tunity to qualifie themselves for the first Table. This Club, consisting only of Men of Honour, did not continue long, most of the Members of it being put to the Sword, or hanged, a little after its Institution Our Modern celebrated Clubs are founded upon Eating and Drinking, which are Points wherein most Men agree, and in which the Learned and Illiterate, the Dull and the Airy, the Philosopher and the Buffoon, can all of them bear a Part, The Kit Cat it self is said to have taken its Original from a Mutton-Pye. The Beef Steak, and October Clubs, are neither of them averse to Eating and Drinking, if we may form a Judgment of them from their respective Titles. When Men are thus knit together, by a Love of Society, not a Spirit of Faction, and don't meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; When When they are thus combined for their own Improve, No. 9. ment, or for the Good of others, or at least to relax Saturday, themselves from the Business of the Day, by an innocent March 10, and chearful Conversation, there may be something very useful in these little Institutions and Establishments. I cannot forbear concluding this Paper with a Scheme of Laws that I met with upon a Wall in a little Ale-house How I came thither I may inform my Reader at a more convenient time. These Laws were enacted by a Knot of Artizans and Mechanicks, who used to meet every Night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty Picture of low Life, I shall transcribe them Word for Word. Rules to be observed in the Two-penny Club, erected in this Place, for the Preservation of Friendship and good Neighbourhood. L. Every Member at his first coming in shall lay down his Two-Pence, II. Every Member shall fill his Pipe out of his own Box. III. If any Member absents himself he shall forfeit a Penny for the Use of the Club, unless in case of Sickness or Imprisonment, IV. If any Member swears or curses, his Neighbour may give him a Kick upon the Shins. V. If any Member tells Stories in the Club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third Lie an Halfpenny, VI. If any Member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his Club for him. VII. If any Member brings his Wife into the Club, he shall pav for whatever she drinks or smoaks. VIII. If any Member's Wife comes to fetch him home from the Club, she shall speak to him without the Door. IX. If any Member calls another Cuckold, he shall be turned out of the Club. X, None shall be admitted into the Club that is of the same Trade with any Member of it. XI. None of the Club shall have his Cloaths or Shoes made or mended, but by a Brother-Member, 1711. No. 9. Saturday, 1711 XII. No Non-juror shall be capable of being a Member, The Morality of this little Club is guarded by such wholesome Laws and Penalties, that I question not but my Reader will be as well pleased with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnson, the Regulations of an old Roman Club cited by Lipsius, or the Rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek Author. C No. 10. IT Monday, March 12. Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum Atque illum praeceps prono rapít alveus amni.—Virg. T is with much Satisfaction that I hear this great City inquiring Day by Day after these my Papers, and receiving my Morning Lectures with a becoming Seriousness and Attention. My Publisher tells me, that there are already Three thousand of them dis tributed every Day: So that if I allow Twenty Readers to every Paper, which I look upon as a modest Computa tion, I may reckon about Threescore thousand Disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to distinguish themselves from the thoughtless Herd of their ignorant and unattentive Brethren. Since I have raised to myself so great an Audience, I shall spare no Pains to make their Instruction agreeable, and their Diversion useful. For which Reasons I shall endeavour to enliven Morality with Wit, and to temper Wit with Morality, that my Readers may, if possible, both Ways find their Account in the Speculation of the Day, And to the End that their Virtue and Discretion may not be short transient intermittent Starts of Thought, I have resolved to refresh their Memories from Day to Day, till I have recovered them out of that desperate State of Vice and Folly into which the Age is fallen. The Mind that lies fallow but a single Day, sprouts up in Follies that are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous Culture. It was said of Socrates, that he brought Philosophy down from Heaven, to inhabit among among Men; and I shall be ambitious to have it said No. 10, of me, that I have brought Philosophy out of Closets Monday, March 12, and Libraries, Schools and Colleges, to dwell in Clubs 1711. and Assemblies, at Tea-Tables and in Coffee-Houses, I would therefore in a very particular Manner recom mend these my Speculations to all well regulated Families, that set apart an Hour in every Morning for Tea and Bread and Butter; and would earnestly advise them for their Good to order this Paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a Part of the Tea Equipage, Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well-written Book, compared with its Rivals and Antagonists, is like Moses's Serpent, that immediately swallow'd up and devoured those of the Egyptians. I shall not be so vain as to think, that where the SPECTATOR appears, the other publick Prints will vanish; but shall leave it to my Reader's Consideration, whether, Is it not much better to be let into the Knowledge of ones self, than to hear what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse our selves with such Writings as tend to the wearing out of Ignor ance, Passion, and Prejudice, than such as naturally conduce to inflame Hatreds, and make Enmities irreconcileable? In the next Place, I would recommend this Paper to the daily Perusal of those Gentlemen whom I cannot but consider as my good Brothers and Allies, I mean the Fraternity of Spectators who live in the World without having any thing to do in it; and either by the Affluence of their Fortunes, or Laziness of their Dispositions, have no other Business with the rest of Mankind, but to look upon them. Under this Class of Men are comprehended all contemplative Tradesmen, titular Physicians, Fellows of the Royal Society, Templers that are not given to be contentious, and Statesmen that are out of Business; in short, every one that considers the World as a Theatre, and desires to form a right Judg ment of those who are the Actors on it, There is another Set of Men that I must likewise lay a Claim to, whom I have lately called the Blanks of Society, as being altogether unfurnish'd with Ideas, till the Business and Conversation of the Day has supplied them. I have often consider'd these poor Souls with an Eye |