reaching originality. He is very affectionate, kind-hearted, and benevolent, rather impressionable, and his will is not strong, except in such things as interest him, but he is more accustomed to rule than to obey. He has much 'class' or family pride, but is neither stiff nor arrogant. Has taste for music and art. Rather of an indolent nature. A very pleasant, amusing companion, eloquent and talkative. He has sequence of ideas and deductive judgment, a clear head. Is something of a scholar; has a leaning towards the classics and poetry, though he possesses also much practical common-sense; is extravagant, and fond of popularity, and possibly has some vanity (but this may show itself more in the signature, which I have not seen). He is goodtempered on the whole, very self-possessed, and plucky. Can be sarcastic, and has much shrewdness and a good memory. Likes effect, has great tenacity of purpose. The above delineation can, I think, be verified in every particular. Practice has made me familiar with many trifles shown in the general tenor of a writing, rules for which cannot be put into words. Of course, the last description brings the man before you, as it were, better than any of the others; it is better arranged, and there is nothing to distract the attention from the 'summing up.' In all the specimens given, high intellectual powers and culture have been the leading characteristics. And, naturally, such natures are easier, in one way, to 'dissect' than those of ordinary men, because they have more in them; on the other hand, their very cultivation prevents their faults being as prominently shown as they sometimes are in less gifted mortals; or do they possess fewer? Cultivation should certainly have the effect of eradicating faults. There are many details necessarily omitted in the above short sketch on graphology, but enough has, perhaps, been said to prove that there really is something in it,' and to convince some of my readers that if words were given us to conceal our thoughts,' type-writers were invented to save our characters! MILDRED BOYNTON. At the Sign of the Ship. N turning over a drawerful of manuscripts, the bequest (alas! the only one) of a man of letters, I have discovered the text of a little treatise called 'The Practical Joker, a Manual for Families, Schools, and General Society.' The author begins by a disquisition on Wit and Humour, which is not unlike other treatises on the same topics. He inclines to the belief that humour cannot be taught except in what he styles its primitive or practical form. All the delight of laughter, he says with Hobbes, arises from a sudden sense of superiority on our own part, and this sense is peculiarly gratified by the Practical Joke. This being within the reach of all, however stupid and senseless, he considers that, in a democratic age, he will benefit society who elucidates whatever is most obvious to the most ordinary intelligence. For this purpose he writes the Manual from which we now borrow a few extracts. In a manual intended for the use of families and of the young, it seems well to commence with the simplest forms of practical joke, gradually advancing to the more difficult, complex, and expensive. Nothing can well be simpler than merely to pinch or cuff a younger brother or sister; here all depends on the moment selected for the joke, and, as is always the case with humour, in the unexpectedness of the assault. Practical jokes began in nothing more elaborate than this. To draw away a chair as a person is about to sit down upon it causes great mirth. The heavier and the older the patient, the more acute is the enjoyment of the spectators, and the pain inflicted is proportionately severe. At the same time, the older and more respected the patient, the greater is the unexpectedness-a point on which we cannot too much insist. The Common Bam or Hoax. The principle underlying the Common Hoax is of great antiquity and universality. The joke lies in making a statement at once inconsistent with veracity, and calculated to produce terror or disappointment. The young humorist may practise this form of wit almost as soon as he has learnt the use of language. Thus we may tell a younger brother or sister that : There is a lion in the garden. A giant is coming up the road. Either of these jokes may produce great dread, and cause an infinity of pain, which is highly ridiculous, as there is no real ground for alarm. Disappointment. This may be simply and almost infallibly produced by the assertion that 'There is a present waiting for you in the diningroom, Tommy!' 1. There may be no present. 2. It may be of an inexpensive and undesirable character, say half a brick, neatly wrapped up in brown paper. This may also be practised on older people. Take the case that Captain X. is engaged to your sister Jane. You may observe, 'Jane is in the parlour.' When the Captain finds that she is not there you may say 'Sold again!' Much point may be added by locking the parlour door on the outside and running away. When once the principle of this joke is mastered it will be found capable of endless modifications, and, indeed, it lies at the bottom of perhaps half the practical jokes known to science.1 EASY JOKES FOR FAMILIES. The Booby Trap.-The simplest form of Booby Trap is to leave the door of any person's room ajar, and to balance above it any heavy object, so that when the door is opened the weight will fall on the head of the person who enters. (1) The object may be a large book, the more handsomely bound the better. When it falls, even if it does not hurt the person who enters (or booby), at all events the binding will probably be damaged. (2) A jar of water may be used. This may not only wet but See Practical Jokes for Ladies.' severely wound the booby. This plan is recommended for use in schools. (3) Young ladies, if they adopt this joke, are recommended to fasten the water-can by a string to a nail in the lintel, so that the water only, and not the water-vessel, may descend on the head of the booby. In this case he may actually be gratified by the sprightly delicacy of the attention, which proves that he holds a place in the mind of the fair joker.' String Booby Trap.-Fasten a string across the entrance of the booby's room, placing, at a proper distance within, a tub full of cold water, or a collection of valuable china. In the latter case, the booby may cut himself, and will certainly break the china. If he be a guest in the house, this will cause him the keenest annoyance, which is very comic. Chair Booby Traps.-The simplest plan, as already stated, is merely to pull the chair away. But many prefer (1) To stick the chair full of pins, with the sharp ends upwards. (2) To spread the chair with cobbler's wax, or any other glutinous substance. This is recommended for use on schoolmasters, as it is not always easy to detect the humorist, and the wrong boy may be punished. Inconvenience attends this ludicrous circumstance if he be a big boy. JOKES ON PARENTS AND GUARDIANS. To Produce Scarlet Fever.-This is a useful joke at the end of the holidays. One night you allege that you have a sore throat. On the following morning you beat yourself all over with the bristly side of a hairbrush. A capital 'rash' is thus produced. Doctors have been taken in by this joke. The Spirit-rapping Joke.-This requires audacity and acuteness. Raps may be produced by cracking the knuckles, or by simple knocking with the end of a pencil. To Move a Table.-Tie a short flat board under each wrist, so that the boards are hidden by the sleeves. A table may thus be raised into the air while the fingers are lightly touching the top; the edge of the table is caught in the boards. Two humorists, at least, are needed for this purpose. A clever boy has been ! See 'Practical Jokes for Ladies.' known to deceive his family for a whole year by the spirit-rapping joke, causing infinite discredit and vexation.' An Easy Joke.-Fill a parent's or guardian's snuff-box with cayenne pepper. Another Way.-Introduce gunpowder into his cigarettes. Another Way.-Unload his cartridges, substituting sawdust for gunpowder. Another Way.-Fill the joints of his fishing-rod with mud. Another Way.-Put a toad. Telegraphic Joke.-Keep sending nonsense messages to any parent or guardian who lives at a long distance from a telegraph office. Medical Joke. If a booby is ordered a seidlitz powder, induce him to take the two component powders successively. This may very nearly kill him, and his convulsions are richly entertaining. Convivial Joke.-Put the whisky in the sherry decanter. The results of this joke are often highly diverting. Hotel Joke.-Change all the boots outside the bedroom doors. Another Way.-Tell some booby that you have done this, and induce him or her to try to correct the error. If detected, the booby may incur great discredit, as of course you did not change the boots, and he or she does so. This joke may be played on a favourite maiden aunt. Jokes with Beds.—(1) The simplest joke is merely to introduce foreign bodies, as a basket of fish, hairbrushes, needles, boot-jacks, a pailful of water. (2) The Common Apple-pie Bed.-No joke is more antiquated and respected than this: Tuck up half the lower sheet behind the pillow, and pin or sew it in.2 Foreign bodies may also be introduced. (3) Hide the pillow. Practical Jokes on Tradesmen.-Many practical jokes may be played on tradesmen. Even the youngest humorist may enter a baker's shop and, with an air of modest ignorance, inquire what may be the price of a penny bun. See 'Ghosts, How to Make.' 2 See Jokes for Ladies.' |