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Of praise a mere glutton, he swallow'd what came,
How did Grub-street re-echo the shouts that you
While he was be-Roscius'd, and you were be-
But peace to his spirit wherever it flies,
Here Hickey reclines, a most blunt pleasant
And slander itself must allow him good nature;
*Mr. Hugh Kelly, author of False Delicacy, Word to the Wise, Clementina, School for Wives, etc. etc.
↑ Mr. William Woodfall, printer of the Morning Chronicle. The following poems by Mr. Garrick, may in some mea
sure account for the severity exercised by Dr. Goldsmith in
respect to that gentleman.
JUPITER AND MERCURY, A FABLE.
Here Hermes, says Jove, who with nectar was mellow,
Without cause be he pleased, without cause be he cross;
For the joy of each sex, on the world I'll bestow it,
ON DR. GOLDSMITH'S CHARACTERISTICAL
A JEU D'ESPRIT.
Are these the choice dishes the doctor has sent us?
His manners were gentle, complying, and bland:
When they talk'd of their Raphaels, Corregios,
He shifted his trumpet,* and only took snuff.
After the fourth edition of this poem was printed, the publisher received the following Epitaph on Mr. Whitefoord, from a friend of the late Doctor Goldsmith.
HERE Whitefoord reclines, and deny it who can,
What pity, alas! that so liberal a mind
Ye newspaper witlings! ye pert scribbling folks!
Merry Whitefoord, farewell! for thy sake I ad
That a Scot may have humour, I had almost said
This debt to thy mem'ry I can not refuse,
There mangroves spread, and larger than I've seen
PROLOGUE TO ZOBEIDE;
And apples, bitter apples strew the ground:
The inhabitants are cannibals, I fear:
SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER.*
INTENDED TO HAVE BEEN SUNG IN THE COMEDY OF O, there the people are-best keep my distance:
Offers to love, but means to deceive me.
Not a look, nor a smile shall my passion discover. She that gives all to the false one pursuing her, Makes but a penitent, and loses a lover.
His honour is no mercenary trader.
WRITTEN BY JOSEPH CRADDOCK, ESQ. ACTED AT THE
IN these bold times, when Learning's sons explore
Equally fit for gallantry and war.
SPOKEN BY MR. LEE LEWES, IN THE CHARACTER OF
HOLD! Prompter, hold! a word before your non
I'd speak a word or two, to ease my conscience.
Whence, and what art thou, visionary birth?
To make an observation on the shore.
Where are we driven? our reckoning sure is lost! How hast thou fill'd the scene with all thy brood
This seems a rocky and a dangerous coast.
Of fools pursuing, and of foole pursued!
•SIR-I send you a small production of the late Dr. Gold smith, which has never been published, and which might perhaps have been totally lost, had I not secured it. He intended
it as a song in the character of Miss Hardcastle, in his admi-No-I will act, I'll vindicate the stage: Shakspeare himself shall feel my tragic rage.
"able comedy of "She Stoops to Conquer," but it was left out,
as Mrs. Bulkley, who played the part, did not sing. He sung Off! off! vile trappings! a new passion reigns!
it himself in private companies very agreeably. The tune is a
soft-'twas but a dream.
I am, Sir, your humble servant,
Ay, 'twas but a dream, for now there's no retreat
If I cease Harlequin, I cease from eating.
Once on the margin of a fountain stood, And cavill'd at his image in the flood. "The deuce confound," he cries, "these drumstick
They never have my gratitude nor thanks;
Hoicks! hark forward! came thund'ring from behind,
He bounds aloft, outstrips the fleeting wind:
THE LOGICIANS REFUTED,
IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT.
Homo est ratione præditum ;
No judges, fiddlers, dancing-masters, No pickpockets or poctasters, Are known to honest quadrupeds, No single brute his fellow leads. Brutes never meet in bloody fray Nor cut each other's throats for pay. Of beasts, it is confest, the ape Comes nearest us in human shape: Like man he imitates each fashion, And malice is his ruling passion; But both in malice and grimaces, A courtier any ape surpasses. Behold him humbly cringing wait Upon the minister of state; View him soon after to inferiors Aping the conduct of superiors: He promises with equal air, And to perform takes equal care. He in his turn finds imitators: At court, the porters, lacqueys, waiters, Their masters' manners still contract, And footmen, lords, and dukes can act. Thus at the court, both great and small Behave alike, for all ape all
ON THE TAKING OF QUEBEC
AMIDST the clamour of exulting joys,
Which triumph forces from the patriot heart, Grief dares to mingle her soul-piercing voice, And quells the raptures which from pleasure
O Wolfe! to thee a streaming flood of woe,
Sighing we pay, and think e'en conquest dear; Quebec in vain shall teach our breast to glow,
Whilst thy sad fate extorts the heart-wrung tear Alive, the foe thy dreadful vigour fled,
And saw thee fall with joy-pronouncing eyes: Yet they shall know thou conquerest, though dead! Since from thy tomb a thousand heroes rise.
ON A BEAUTIFUL YOUTH
STRUCK BLIND BY LIGHTNING,
SURE 'twas by Providence design'd,
WEEPING, murmuring, complaining,
Fears th' approaching bridal night. Yet why impair thy bright perfection? Or dim thy beauty with a tear? Had Myra follow'd my direction,
She long had wanted cause of fear.
TELE GOOD-NATURED MAN:
AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE-ROYAL, COVENT GARDEN
SPOKEN BY MR. BENSLEY.
PREST by the load of life, the weary mind Surveys the general toil of human kind;
WHEN I undertook to write a comedy, I confess I was strongly prepossessed in favour of the poets of the last age, and strove to imitate them. The term, genteel comedy, was then unknown amongst as, and little more was desired by an audience, than nature and humour, in whatever walks of life they were most conspicuous. The author of the following scenes never imagined that more would be With cool submission joins the lab'ring train, expected of him, and therefore to delineate charac-And social sorrow loses half its pain; ter has been his principal aim. Those who know Our anxious bard without complaint, may share any thing of composition, are sensible that, in pur-This bustling season's epidemic care, suing humour, it will sometimes lead us into the Like Cæsar's pilot, dignified by fate, recesses of the mean; I was even tempted to look Tost in one common storm with all the great; for it in the master of a spunging-house; but in Distrest alike, the statesman and the wit, deference to the public taste, grown of late, per- When one a borough courts, and one the pit. haps, too delicate, the scene of the bailiffs was re- The busy candidates for power and fame trenched in the representation. In deference also Have hopes and fears, and wishes, just the same; to the judgment of a few friends, who think in a Disabled both to combat or to fly, particular way, the scene is here restored. The Must bear all taunts, and hear without reply. author submits it to the reader in his closet; and Uncheck'd, on both loud rabbles vent their rage, hopes that too much refinement will not banish hu- As mongrels bay the lion in a cage. mour and character from ours, as it has already Th' offended burgess holds his angry tale, done from the French theatre. Indeed, the French For that blest year when all that vote may rail; comedy is now become so very elevated and senti- Their schemes of spite the poet's foes dismiss, mental, that it has not only banished humour and Till that glad night, when all that hate may hiss. Moliere from the stage, but it has banished all "This day the powder'd curls and golden coat," spectators too. Says swelling Crispin, "begg'd a cobbler's vote." "This night our wit," the pert apprentice cries, "Lies at my feet-I hiss him, and he dies." The great, 'tis true, can charm th' electing tribe; The bard may supplicate, but can not bribe. Yet judged by those, whose voices ne'er were sold, He feels no want of ill-persuading gold; But confident of praise, if praise be due, Trusts, without fear, to merit, and to you
Upon the whole, the author returns his thanks to the public for the favourable reception which "The Good-Natured Man" has met with; and to Mr. Colman in particular, for his kindness to it. It may not also be improper to assure any, who shall hereafter write for the theatre, that merit, or supposed merit, will ever be a sufficient passport to his protection.
WRITTEN BY DR. JOHNSON,
MR. WOODWARD. his philosophy, I entreat you. No, Jarvis, his
good-nature arises rather from his fears of offending
MR. R. SMITH.
Enter SIR WILLIAM HONEYWOOD, JARVIS.
Sir William. Good Jarvis, make no apologies for this honest bluntness. Fidelity, like yours, is the best excuse for every freedom.
Jarvis. I can't help being blunt, and being very angry too, when I hear you talk of disinheriting so good, so worthy a young gentleman as your nephew, my master. All the world loves him.
Sir William. Say rather, that he loves all the world; that is his fault.
has only served to spoil him. This same philosophy is a good horse in the stable, but an arrant jade on a journey. For my own part, whenever I hear him mention the name on't, I'm always sure he's going to play the fool.
Sir William. Don't let us ascribe his faults to
THE GOOD-NATURED MAN.
SCENE-AN APARTMENT IN YOUNG HONEYWOOD's plunged himself into real calamity: to arrest him for
that very debt, to clap an officer upon him, and then let him see which of his friends will come to his relief.
Jarvis. I am sure there is no part of it more dear to him than you are, though he has not seen you since he was a child.
Sir William. What signifies his affection to me; or how can I be proud of a place in a heart, where every sharper and coxcomb finds an easy entrance?
Jarvis. I grant you that he is rather too goodnatured; that he's too much every man's inan; that he laughs this minute with one, and cries the next with another; but whose instructions may he thank for all this?
Jarvis. What it arises from, I don't know. But to be sure, every body has it, that asks it.
Sir William. Ay, or that does not ask it. I have been now for some time a concealed spectator of his follies, and find them as boundless as his dissipation.
Jarvis. Well, if I could but any way see him thoroughly vexed, every groan of his would be music to me; yet faith, I believe it impossible. I have tried to fret him myself every morning these three years; but instead of being angry, he sits as calmly to hear me scold, as he does to his hair-dresser.
Sir William. We must try him once more, however, and I'll go this instant to put my scheme into execution: and I don't despair of succeeding, as, by your means, I can have frequent opportunities of being about him without being known. What a pity it is, Jarvis, that any man's good-will to others should produce so much neglect of himself, as to require correction! Yet we must touch his weaknesses with a delicate hand. There are some faults so nearly allied to excellence, that we can scarce weed out the vice without eradicating the virtue. [Exit. Jarvis. Well, go thy ways, Sir William Honeywood. It is not without reason, that the world allows thee to be the best of men. But here comes his hopeful nephew; the strange, good-natured,
Sir William. Not mine, sure? My letters to him during my employment in Italy, taught him foolish, open-hearted-And yet, all his faults are only that philosophy which might prevent, not de- such that one loves him still the better for them. fend his errors. Enter HONEYWOOD.
Jarvis. And yet, faith, he has some fine name or other for them all. He calls his extravagance, generosity; and his trusting every body, universal benevolence. It was but last week he went security for a fellow whose face he scarce knew, and that he called an act of exalted mu-mu-munificence; ay, that was the name he gave it.
Sir William. And upon that I proceed, as my last effort, though with very little hopes to reclaim him. That very fellow has just absconded, and I have taken up the security. Now, my intention is to involve him in fictitious distress, before he has
Jarvis. Faith, begging your honour's pardon, Honeywood. Well, Jarvis, what messages tin I'm sorry they taught him any philosophy at all; it my friends this morning?