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THE HAUNCH OF VENISON.
THANKS, my lord, for your venison, for finer or
fried in. But hold- let me pause don't I hear you
pronounce, This tale of the bacon's a damnable bounce ?
Well, suppose it a bounce—sure a poet may
try, By a bounce now and then, to get courage to
fly. But, my lord, it's no bounce: I protest in my
turn, It's a truth-and your lordship may ask Mr.
Burn.* To go on with my tale - as I gaz'd on the
haunch, I thought of a friend that was trusty and
staunch; So I cut it, and sent it to Reynolds undrest, To paint it or eat it, just as he lik'd best. Of the neck and the breast I had next to dis
pose ; 'Twas a neck and a breast that might rival
Monroe's; But in parting with these I was puzzled again, With the how, and the who, and the where,
and the when. There's H—d, and C-y, and H-rth, and
Hf, I think they love venison - I know they love
beef. There's my countryman Higgins-Oh! let him
alone, For making a blunder, or picking a bone.
* Lord Clare's nephew.
But hang ito poets who seldom can eat, Your very good mutton's a very good treat ; Such dainties to them their health it might
hurt, It's like sending them ruffles when wanting a
shirt. While thus I debated, in reverie centred, An acquaintance, a friend as he call'd himself,
enter'd; An under-bred, fine-spoken fellow was he, And he smil'd as he look'd at the venison and
•What have we got here ?—Why this is good
eating! Your own I suppose or is it in waiting ?' * Why whose should it be?' cried I, with a
flounce : 'I get these things often' — but that was a
bounce : "Some lords, my acquaintance, that settle the
nation, Are pleas'd to be kind—but I hate ostentation.' * If that be the case then,' cried he, very
gay: * I am glad I have taken this house in my way. To-morrow you take a poor dinner with me; No words—I insist on't-precisely at three : We'll have Johnson, and Burke, all the wits
will be there; My acquaintance is slight, or I'd ask my Lord