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Leon. My sister.
Cro. What does the booby mean? or has he any meaning? Eh! what do you mean, you blockhead you?
Leon. Mean, sir—why, sir-only when my sister is to be married, that I have the pleasure of marrying her, sir, that is, of giving her away, sir— I have made a point of it.
Cro. O, is that all? Give her away. You have made a point of it. Then you had as good make a point of first giving away yourself, as I'm going to prepare the writings between you and Miss Richland this
minute. What a fuss is here about nothing! Why, what's the matter now? I thought I had made you at least as happy as you could wish.
Oliv. ( yes, sir, very happy.
Cro. Do you foresee any thing, child? You look as if you did. I think if any thing was to be foreseen, I have as sharp a look out as another; and yet I foresee nothing.
[Exit. Oliv. What can it mean?
Leon. He knows something, and yet for my life I can't tell what.
Oliv. It can't be the connexion between us, I'm pretty certain.
Leon. Whatever it be, my dearest, I'm resolved to put it out of fortune's power to repeat our mortification. I'll haste and prepare for our journey to Scotland this very evening. My friend IIoneywood has promised me his advice and assistance. I'll go to him, and repose our distresses on his friendly bosom: and I know so much of his honest heart, that if he can't relieve our uneasiness, he will at least share them.
Bailiff, Honeywoo), FOLLOWER. Bail. Look’E, sir, I have arrested as good men as you in my time: no disparagement of you neither-men that would go forty guineas on a game of cribbage. I challenge the town to show a man in more genteeler practice than myself,
Hon. Without all question, Mr. I forget your name, sir?
Bail. How can you forget what you never knew? he! he! he!
Hon. May I beg leave to ask your name?
Bail. That I didn't promise to tell you-he! he! he! a joke breaks no bones, as we say among us that practise the law.
Hon. You may have reason for keeping it a secret, perhaps? Bail. The law does nothing without reason.
I'm ashamed to tell my name to no man, sir. If you can show cause, as why, upon a special capus, that I should prove my name--But come, Timothy Twitch is my name. And now you know my name, what have you to say to that?
Hon. Nothing in the world, good Mr. Twitch, but that I have a favour to ask; that's all.
Bail. Ay, favours are more easily asked than granted, as we say among us that practise the law. I have taken an oath against granting favours. Would you have me perjure myself?
Hon. But my request will come recommended in so strong a manner, as I believe you'll have no scruple [pulling out his purse.] The thing is only this; I believe I shall be able to discharge this trifle in two or three days at the furthest; but as I would not have the affair known for the world, I have thoughts of keeping you and your good friend here about me till the debt is discharged; for which I shall be properly grateful.
Bail. Oh! that's another maxum, and altogether within my oath. For certain, if an honest man is to get any thing by a thing, there's no reason why all things should not be done in civility.
Hon. Doubtless, all trades must live, Mr. Twitch; and yours is a necessary one.
[Gives him money. Bail. Oh! your honour; I hope your honour takes nothing amiss as I does, as I does nothing but my duty in so doing. I'm sure no man can say I ever give a gentleman, that was a gentleman, ill usage. If I saw that a gentleman was a gentleman, I have taken money not to see him for ten weeks together.
Hon. Tenderness is a virtue, Mr. Twitch.
Bail, Ay, sir, it's a perfect treasure. I love to see a gentleman with a tender heart. I don't know, but I think I have a tender heart myself. If all that I have lost by my heart was put together, it would make a—but no matter for that.
Hon. Don't account it lost, Mr. Twitch. The ingra. titůde of the world can never deprive us of the conscious happiness of having acted with humanity ourselves.
Bail. Humanity, sir, is a jewel. It's better than gold. I love humanity. People may say that we in our way have no humanity; but I'll show you my humanity this
moment. There's my follower here, little Flanigan, with a wife and four children, a guinea or two would be more to him, than twice as much to another. Now as I can't show him any humanity myself, I must beg you'll do it for me.
Hon. I assure you, Mr. Twitch, yours is a most powerful recommendation. [Giving money to the follower.
Bail. You're a gentleman. I see you know what to do with your money. But to business; we are to be with you here as your friends, I suppose. But set in case, company comes-Little Flanigan here to be sure has a good face; a very good face; but then he is a little seedy, as we say among us that practice the law. Not well in clothes. Smoke the pocket-holes. Hon. Well, that shall be remedied without delay.
Hon. How unlucky! Detain her a moment. We must improve my good friend, little Mr. Flanigan's appearance first. Here, let Mr. Flanigan have a suit of my clothes-quick—the brown and silver-Do you hear?
Ser. That your honour gave away to the begging gentleman that makes verses, because it was as good as new.
Hon. The white and gold then.
Ser. That, your honour, I made bold to sell, because it was good for nothing.
Hon. Well, the first that comes to hand, then. The blue and gold, then. I believe Mr. Flanigan will look best in blue.
(Exit Flanigan. Bail. Rabbit me, but little Flanigan will look well in any thing. Ah, if your honour knew that bit of flesh as well as I do, you'd be perfectly in love with him.-There's not a prettier scout in the four counties after a shy-cock than he: scents like a hound; sticks like a weazle. He was master of the ceremonies to the black queen of Morocco, when I took him to follow me. [Reenter Flanigan.] Heh, ecod, I think he looks so well, that I don't care if I have a suit from the same place for myself.
Hon. Well, well, I hear the lady coming. Dear Mr. Twitch, I beg you'll give your friend directions not to speak. As for yourself, I know you will say nothing without being directed.
Bail. Never you fcar me; I'll show the lady that I have something to say for myself as well as another. One man has one way of talking, and another man has another, that's all the difference between them.
Enter Miss RICHLAND and her MAID. Miss Rich. You'll be surprised, sir, with this visit. But you know I'm yet to thank you for choosing my little lic brary.
Hon. Thanks, madam, are unnecessary; as it was I that was obliged by your commands. Chairs here. Two of my very good friends, Mr. Twitch and Mr. Flanigan. Pray, gentlemen, sit without ceremony.
Miss Rich. Who can these odd-looking men be! I fear it is as I was informed. It must be so.
[Aside. Bail. (After a pause.] Pretty weather, very pretty weather for the time of the year, madam.
Fol. Very good circuit weather in the country.
Hon. You officers are generally favourites among the ladies. My friends, madam, have been upon very disagreeable duty, I assure you. The fair should in some measure recompense the toils of the brave.