Tell

Tony. [Apart to Mrs. Hardcastle.] Then why don't you tell her so at once, as she's so longing for them? her they're lost. It's the only way to quiet her. Say they're lost, and call me to bear witness.

Mrs. Hard. [Apart to Tony.] You know, my dear, I'm only keeping them for you. So, you'll bear me witness, will you?

Tony. Never fear me. Ecod!

taken out with my own eyes.

if I say they're gone, He! he! he!

I'll say I saw them

Miss Nev. I desire them but for a day, madam. Just to be permitted to show them as relics, and then they may be locked up again.

Mrs. Hard. To be plain with you, my dear Constance, if I could find them you should have them. They're missing, I assure you. Lost, for aught I know; but we must have patience wherever they are.

Miss Nev. I'll not believe it; this is but a shallow pretence to deny me. I know they are too valuable to be so slightly kept; and as you are to answer for the loss

Mrs. Hard. Don't be alarmed, Constance. If they be lost, I must restore an equivalent. But my son knows they are missing, and not to be found.

Tony. That I can bear witness to. They are missing, and not to be found, I'll take my oath on't.

Mrs. Hard. You must learn resignation, my dear; for though we lose our fortune, yet we should not lose our patience. See me, how calm I am.

Miss Nev. Ay, people are generally calm at the misfortunes of others.

Mrs. Hard. Now, I wonder a girl of your good sense should waste a thought upon such trumpery. We shall soon find them; and in the mean time you shall make use of my garnets, till your jewels be found.

Miss Nev. I detest garnets.

Mrs. Hard. The most becoming things in the world to set off a clear complexion. You have often seen how well they look upon me. You shall have them. [Exit. Miss Nev. I dislike them of all things. You shan't stir-Was ever any thing so provoking, to mislay my own jewels, and force me to wear her trumpery.

Tony. Don't be a fool. If she gives you the garnets, take what you can get. The jewels are your own already. I have stolen them out of her bureau, and she does not know it. Fly to your spark, he'll tell you more of the matter. Leave me to manage her.

Miss Nev. My dear cousin!*

Tony. Vanish. She's here, and has missed them already. Zounds! how she fidgets and spits about like a Catherine wheel.

Enter Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Mrs. Hard. Confusion! thieves! robbers! we are cheated, plundered, broke open, undone.

Tony. What's the matter, what's the matter, mamma? I hope nothing has happened to any of the good family! Mrs. Hard. We are robbed. My bureau has been broken open, the jewels taken out, and I'm undone. Tony. Oh! is that all? Ha! ha! ha! By the laws, I never saw it better acted in my life. Ecod, I thought you was ruined in earnest, ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. Hard. Why, boy, I am ruined in earnest. My bureau has been broken open, and all taken away.

Tony. Stick to that; ha! ha! ha! stick to that. I'll bear witness, you know; call me to bear witness. Mrs. Hard. I tell you, Tony, by all that's precious, the jewels are gone, and I shall be ruined for ever,

Tony. Sure I know they are gone, and I'm to say so. Mrs. Hard. My dearest Tony, but hear me. They are gone, I say.

Tony. By the laws, mamma, you make me for to laugh, ha! ha! I know who took them well enough, ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. Hard. Was there ever such a blockhead, that can't tell the difference between jest and earnest? I tell you I'm not in jest, booby.

Tony. That's right, that's right! you must be in a bitter passion, and then nobody will suspect either of us. I'll bear witness that they are gone.

Mrs. Hard. Was there ever such a cross-grained brute, Can you bear witness that you're

that won't hear me?

no better than a fool?

Was ever poor woman so beset

with fools on one hand, and thieves on the other!

Tony. I can bear witness to that.

Mrs. Hard. Bear witness again, you blockhead you, and I'll turn you out of the room directly. My poor niece, what will become of her! Do you laugh, you unfeeling brute, as if you enjoyed my distress?

Tony. I can bear witness to that.

Mrs. Hard. Do you insult me, monster? I'll teach you to vex your mother, I will.

Tony. I can bear witness to that.

[He runs off, she follows him.

Enter Miss HARDCASTLE and MAID.

Miss Hard. What an unaccountable creature is that brother of mine, to send them to the house as an inn,

ha! ha! I don't wonder at his impudence.

Maid. But what is more, madam, the young gentleman, as you passed by in your present dress, asked me, if

you were the bar-maid. He mistook you for the barmaid, madam.

Miss Hard. Did he? Then, as I live, I'm resolved to keep up the delusion. Tell me, Pimple, how do you like my present dress. Don't you think I look something like Cherry in the Beaux' Stratagem?

Maid. It's the dress, madam, that every lady wears in the country, but when she visits or receives company. Miss Hard. And are you sure he does not remember my face or person?

Maid. Certain of it.

Miss Hard. I vow, I thought so; for though we spoke for some time together, yet his fears were such, that he never once looked up during the interview. Indeed, if he had, my bonnet would have kept him from seeing me. Maid. But what do you hope, from keeping him in his mistake?

Miss Hard. In the first place, I shall be seen; and that is no small advantage to a girl who brings her face to market. Then I shall perhaps make an acquaintance'; and that's no small victory gained over one who never addresses any but the wildest of her sex. But my chief aim is, to take my gentleman off his guard, and, like an invisible champion of romance, examine the giant's force, before I offer to combat.

Maid. But are you sure you can act your part, and disguise your voice, so that he may mistake that, as he has already mistaken your person?

Miss Hard. Never fear me. I think I have got the true bar-cant--Did your honour call?-Attend the Lion there.--Pipes and tobacco for the Angel.-The Lamb has been outrageous this half hour.

Haid. It will do, madam. But he's here. [Exit Maid.
Enter MARLOW.

Mar. What a bawling in every part of the house! I have scarce a moment's repose. If I go to the best room, there I find my host and his story. If I fly to the gallery, there we have my hostess with her courtesy down to the ground. I have at last got a moment to myself, and now for recollection. [Walks, and muses.

Miss Hard. Did you call, sir? Did your honour call? Mar. [Musing.] As for Miss Hardcastle, she's too grave and sentimental for me.

Miss Hard. Did your honour call?

[She still places herself before him, he turning away. Mar. No child. [musing.] Besides, from the glimpse I had of her, I think she squints.

Miss Hard. I'm sure, sir, I heard the bell ring.

Mar. No, no. [musing.] I have pleased my father, however, by coming down, and I'll to-morrow please myself by returning. [Taking out his tablets, and perusing. Miss Hard. Perhaps the other gentleman called, sir? Mar. I tell you, no.

Miss Hard. I should be glad to know, sir. We have such a parcel of servants.

Mar. No, no, I tell you. [Looks full in her face.] Yes, child, I think I did call. I wanted-I wanted-I vow, child, you are vastly handsome.

Miss Hard. O la, sir! you'll make one ashamed.

Mar. Never saw a more sprightly malicious eye. Yes, yes, my dear, I did call. Have you got any of your-a -what d'ye call it, in the house?

Miss Hard. No, sir, we have been out of that these ten days.

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