CROWNING THE WISEST-RICHES.

CROWNING THE WISEST.

Not many years ago, it happened that a young man from New York visited London. His father being connected with several of the magnates of the British Aristocracy, the young American was introduced into the fashionable circles of the metropolis, where, in consequence of his very fine personal appearance, or that his father was reported to be very rich, or that he was a new figure on the stage, he attracted much attention, and became quite the favorite of the ladies, This was not at all relished by the British beaux, but as no very fair pretext offered for a rebuff, they were compelled to treat him civilly. Thus matters stood when the Hon. Mr. M. P. and lady made a party to accompany them to their country seat in Cambridgeshire, and the American was among the invited guests. Numerous were the devices to which these devotees of pleasure restored in order to kill that old fellow who will measure his hours, when he ought to know they are not wanted, and the ingenuity of every one was taxed to remember or invent something

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The Yankees are proverbially ready of invention, and the American did honor to his character as a man accustomed to freedom of thought. He was frank and gay, and entered into the sports and amusements with that unaffected enjoyment which commu. nicated a part of his fresh feelings to the most worn out fashionists in the party. His good nature would have been sneered at by some of the proud cavaliers, had he not been such a capital shot, and he might have been quizzed had not the ladies, won by his respectful and pleasant civilities, and his constant attention in the drawing room and saloon, always showed themselves his friends. But a combination was at last formed among a trio of dandies, staunch patrons of the Quarterly, to annihilate the American. They proposed to vary the eternal evening waltzing and piping by the acting of charades and playing various games, and having interested one of those indefatigable ladies who always carry their point in the scheme, it was voted to be the thing.

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most stupid; in short, it turns men from their idols: feel that men are our equals. A true christian s and when we acknowledge that God only is Lord, we always polite."

whether applause or censure, the American could not There was a murmur among the audience, but determine, as he did not chose to betray any anxiety for the result by a scrutiny of the faces which he knew were bent on him. The second now proposed his question. He affected to be a great politician, was station he had been covetting. His voice was bland mustachoed and whiskered like a diplomatist, which but his emphasis was very significant.

which I am conversant would most interest your "Should I visit the United States, what subject with people and give me an opportunity of enjoying their

conversation?"

monarchy is the wises, the purest, the best govern-
"You must mantain, as you do at present, that a
ment which the skill of man ever devised, and that a
democracy is utterly barbarous. My countryman are
proverbially fond of argument, and will meet you on
you to the end of your life"
both these questions, and if you choose, argue with

decided expression of the feeling with which his answer
The murmur was renewed, but still without any
had been received.

sured voice which seemed to announce a certain triThe third then rose from his seat, and with an asumph, said.

the rules of the pastime warrant it, and also a candid "I require your decision on a delicate question, but answer. You have seen the American and the English ladies; which are the fairest?"

It was bright with flashing eyes and the sweet smiles The young republican glanced around the circle. which wreathed many a lovely lip, might have won a less determined patriot from his allegance. He did not hesitate, though he bowed low to the ladies as he answered:

ed to be the power of exciting admiration and love in "The standard of female beauty is, I believe, allowAfter some few charades had been disposed of, one admired and beloved, and respected by the gentlemen our sex, and consequently those ladies who are most of the gentlemen begged leave to propose the game must be the fairest. Now, I assert confidently, that called "Crowning the Wisest." This is played by there is not a nation on earth where woman is so selecting a Judge of the game, and three persons, truly beloved, so tenderly cherished, so respectfully either ladies or gentlemen, who are to contest for the treated as in the Republic of the United States, therecrown by answering successively the various ques-fore the American ladies are the fairest." "But," and tions which the rest of the party are at liberty to ask. The one who is declared to have been the readiest and happiest in his answers receives the crown.

Our American, much against his inclination, was chosen among the three candidates. He was aware that his position, the society with which he was mingling required of him the ability to sustain himself. He was to be sure treated with distinguished attention by his host and hostess, and generally by the party, but this was a favor to the individual, and not one of the company understood the character of republicans or appreciated the Republic. The three worthies had arranged that their turn for him should fall in succession and be the last. The first one, a perfect ex quisite, and with an air of the most ineffable condescension put his question.

"If I understand rightfully, the government of your country acknowledge no distinctions of rank, consequently you can have no court standard for the manners of a gentleman; will you favor me with information where your best school of politeness is to be found?"

"For your benefit," replied the American, smiling calmly, "I would reccommend the Falls of Niagara, a contemplation of that stupendous wonder teaches humility to the the proudest, and human nothingness zo the vainest. It rebukes the trifler and arouses the

he again bowed low, "if the ladies before whom I have now the honor of expressing my opinion, where in my country, we should think them Americans."

subsided, so as to allow the Judge to be heard, he
The applause was enthusiastic; after the mirth had
directed the crown to the Yankee.-Ladies' Maga-
zine.

who has fifty thousand dollars, or one million dollars?
RICHES-What are they? Who is rich? Is it he
Kings are beggars sometimes on their thrones, and
merchants whose ships float on every sea; yet a poor
mechanic has enough to lend. To be rich is to want
nothing-to have no wishes which you cannot gratify;
and the term, "getting rich," should not mean laying
leon, with his imperial power, was more a slave than a
up money, but retrenching superfluous desires. Napo-
common soldier, who received a certain stipend a day,
however mean.
and Alps on Alps arise." It is incompatible with
Wealth brings wants, hills on hills
true independence. Diogenes was richer than Alex-
the sun; the other, although master of a world, wept
ander. The one had all he desired in the warmth of
over the narrowness of his power.

"When I am a man!" is the poetry of childhood"When I was a child !" is the poetry of age.

WIT AND SENTIMENT.

HARD NAMES, OR THE YANKEE OUTWITTED.-A Yankee, being in company at a tavern in Albany, a Dutchman happened in, and enquired the name of the Yankee. I will bet you a bottle of wine, replied he, that I have the hardest name in the company. Done, says the Dutchman-what is it? My name, sir, is Stone, said he, exultingly. "Well den," rejoined the farmer, "your name is STONE, and mine is HARDER, (which was the case)-now pay de bottle." The Yankee remarked, that his was rather a hard concern, but that he was fairly beaten, and paid the forfeit.

A number of labourers, believers in Kid's money, at work in a field, accidentally discovered upon the top of a large stone, an inscription in ancient characters, which, on decypheration, read as follows:

"Take me up and I'll tell you more." Eager for the money, and entertaining no doubt of their being close upon it, they immediately set about raising the stone. After tugging and toiling several hours they finally succeeded, and with some difficulty read on the bottom :-

"Lay me down as I was before."

Hartford Review.

John Wilkes was one of the ugliest of God's creatures. His squint was excessive, and his whole countenance most whimsically ill-favoured. "Such an one is a good-looking fellow," said the bold and able agitator, "and my friends tell me that I am as ugly as the devil, but between the handsomest face and my own, I never found with any woman more than half an hour's difference."

ELOQUENT EXTRACT.-A New York country editor, a few years since, described the arrival of Lafay ette in the following terms: The Gallic hero, seated in a chariot, led the van: the rosy morn besprinkled the orient clouds with effulgent glory-and the gorgeous sun, at last uprising, like a warrior from his repose, walked up into the sky, gilding the vast expanse of ether, and throwing his broad and splendid rays upon a long line of one horse wagons and chaises, filled with individuals, principally from our village.

In one of the encounters of the Alliance frigate and British sloop, a shot entered the corner of the Al liance's counter, and made its way into a locker, where all the china belonging to the captain, was kept. An African servant of the commodore's, a great favourite, ran up to the quarter deck and called out Massa, dat dam Ingresseman broke all e chana !”"You rascal," said the commodore, "why did you not stop the ball?" "Sha, massa; cannon ball must hab a room.'

A yankee pedlar dining at a house where they happened to have apple dumplings for dinner, wanted to ask for the sauce which was prepared for the dumplings, but forgetting the name of it, said, "I'll thank you for some of that truck what you wallow your dumplins in."

"Grandmother," said a favorite grandson to an elderly matron residing at Framingham, "what do the Boston folks mean by General Election?" "Why, Sammy," responded the good dame, "I don't justly know, but I rather guess it's a Meeting House."

On a late visit of the Vice President to Brooklyn, Long Island, among those who came to see him, was a very ancient Dutch lady, whose grey hairs and wrinkles betokened physical decay, though her curiosity was as lively as ever. After an introduction the Vice President addressed her in Dutch; the old lady, much astonished to hear her own language, opened her eyes a little wider than usual, but soon recovered herself and responded in the same polite dialect. After a few minutes delightful converse sheme, Tom, it will do, it will do." retired, and declared to her friends that Mr. Van Buren was an extraordinary man, a right great man, a learned man-for, said she, " He can speak Dutch almost

A poor countryman being summoned before the magistrate of the St. Alban's bench for arrears of poor rates, was asked on what ground he objected? To which he very innocently replied, "Lord bless you, gentlemen, I have no ground at all, mine's only a cottage."

as well as I can!"

STAGE FEELING.-King has recorded of Garrick, that whilst that great actor was drowning the house in tears, in the fourth act of Lear, he put his tongue in his cheek, and said to him, during the applause, "D—n

"Mithter Thpeaker-Ath I had the honor to introduth thith bill, I think it ought to path.”

A THPLENDID THPEAKER.-The editor of the Witness, published in Middletown, (Conn.) ill-naturedly publishes at full length the only speech of an aspiring member of the Legislature, during three years. He A REPULSE.-Zedekiah Smitherton fell in love with says the reader must "imagine the tall and impos ng farmer Hobson's rosy daughter Elizabeth; and as no figure of the orator reduced to an angle of forty-five introduction is considered necessary among neighbors degrees-his legs, crook-ant-his arms, ramp-ant-his in that part of the world, he “just dropped in" one ev-hands, grap-ant-his eyes, squint-ant-the scintillations ening to pay her a visit. He found Hobson himself, a of genius flashing from the latter in such quick suc surly, fat old mortal, sitting in his elbow chair, with a cession that they form a halo of glory around his pipe in his mouth and a mug of beer on the table be- splendid head and expressive face. Here is the fore him. After the usual compliments, which, on the speech: farmer's part, were almost lost in the puffs of tobacco smoke, Zedekiah asked timidly, “if Miss Elizabeth was at home." "To-be-sure she's at home," said farmer Hobson," she's washing clothes; do you want to see her? Puff, puff, puff." "Yes, sir," responded the lover blushingly. Bet!" cried the farmer in a tone which made Zedekiah tremble; "Bet, come out here; a man wants to see you. Puff." Miss Betty came out accordingly, smoothing down her apron and looking delightfully. "Puff, puff. Well, Sir, do you see her," said farmer Hobson to Zedekiah. "Yes, sir," ," says Zed." "Well, sir,—you know the way out, I suppose-Bet go back to your wash tub. Puff, puff, puff, puff." This was Zedekiah's first and last visit to fariner Hobson's.-Central Courant.

ELOQUENCE.-The Ohio Republican gives the following extract from a speech delivered by a member of the Indiana Legislature, on a bill to encourage the killing of wolves, which in sublimity has seldom been surpassed. "Mr. Speaker: The wolf is the most ferocious animal that prowls in our western prairies, or runs at large in the forests of Indiana. He creeps from his lurking place at the hour of midnight, when all nature is locked in the silent embrace of Morpheus, and ere the portals of the East are unbarred, or bright Phoebus rises in all his golden majesty, whole litters of pigs are destroyed!"

WIT AND SENTIMENT.

RETORT LOGICAL-The minister of a neighboring parish was called, some time ago, to effect a reconcilation between a fisherman, of a certain village, and his helpmate. After using all the arguments in his power to convince the offending husband that it was unmanly to chastise, manually, his beloved cara sposa, the minister concluded," David, you know that the wife is the weaker vessel, and ye should have pity on her."

"Confound her," replied the morose fisherman, "if she's the weaker vessel, she should carry the less sail"

A RARE SUBSTITUTE.-An elderly lady, a few days since, entered a dry goods store, laid her parasol on the counter, and proceeded to examine some goods. After she had purchased what she wanted, she took the yard stick, and holding it erect, walked out of the store, much to the astonishment and amusement of the clerks. Crossing the street, the sun began to SCENE IN A STAGE COACH-In Virginia-the day scorch her shoulders, whereupon, looking up, she ob-hot-a gentleman comes into the stage where there served her error, and exclaimed, "Bless my soul, I thought I hadn't my own parasol, I never knew that to fail in rain or sunshine."