BLACK-EYED SUSAN.

FAVOURITE SEA SONG-AS SUNG, WITH UNBOUNDED APPLAUSE, BY MRS. WOOD.

WIT AND SENTIMENT.

From the New Monthly Magazine.
TO ROSA.

Sing, my muse, in praise of Rosa!
Vita mia preziosa;

Graceful, kind, bewitching Rosa!

Have you ever seen my Rosa?
Piccolina bella cosa;
Naughty, little, laughing Rosa!
Queen of Smiles is pretty Rosa!
Never, never dolorosa;
Always charming, always Rosa!
Passing sweet's the voice of Rosa!
Haydn, Mozart, Cimarosa,

Should have lived to hear my Rosa!
The pouting lip of wicked Rosa;
Che dolce! che delizioza!
Tempting lips, but cruel Rosa!
Countless are the charms of Rosa
As the leaves in Vallombrosa;
Zephyrs, waft my sighs to Rosa!
When I read, my book is Rosa:
Farewell Leibniz, Locke, Spinosa;
I forsake you all for Rosa!

How sweet, if Cupid conquered Rosa,
And made her sad and amorosa,

To soothe and share the pain of Rosa!
Can you love me, gentle Rosa?
Will you be my cara sposa?

Tell me, tell me, dearest Rosa!

B. K.

PROPORTIONS.--.An Irish clergyman once broke off the thread of his discourse, and thus addressed his congregation---" My dear brethren, let me here tell you that I am now just halt through with my sermon, but as I perceive your impatience, I will say that the remaining half is not more than a quarter as long as that you have

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A Jew pedlar travelling through Flintshire, being exhausted with fatigue, called for refreshment at a little Welch ale-house, where they could furnish him with nothing but eggs and bacon, which were accordingly fried and brought to table. The first morsel that he put in his mouth, there happened to be a clap of thunder, which made the house shake again. "Father Moses," cried the Jew, "what a fuss is here about a bit of bacon;-take it away."

AN OLD STORY.-A clergyman called on a poor parishioner, whom he found bitterly lamenting the loss of an only son, a boy about four or five years old. In the hope of consoling the afflicted woman, he remarked to her, that one so young could not have committed any grevious sin; and that no doubt the child was gone to heaven. "Ah, Sir," said the simplehearted creature, "but Tommy was so shy, and they are all strangers there."-Athenæum.

A little boy, about four years of age, lay very still one morning, after a fine night's sleep, as if in deep thought. His parents watched him for some time At length his mother said to him...George, my dear, what are you thinking about? Why mother, says George, how many kinds of fire are there? How many kinds of fire! why only one my son. Why, yes there is, continued the boy, there are four kinds. Four kinds! how will you make that out! Well, then, said he, first there is a wood fire, there is a coal fire, then there is cam-phire, and then there is there isWell, what is your fourth, my son?...There is--fire away like fury!

Jonathan's Hunting Excursion. "Did you ever hear of the escape that I and Unck Zekiel had a duckin on't on Connecticut river?" asked Jonathan Timbertoes, while amusing his old Dutch hostess, who had agreed to entertain him under tr roof of her log cottage, for and in consideration of 1 bran new tin milk pan. "No, I never did; dew till it," was the reply.

"Well-you must know that I an Uncle Zeke toni it into our heads one Saturday arternoon to go a gu nin arter ducks, in father's skiff; so in we got and se led down the river; a proper sight of ducks flew backwards and forwards I tell ye-and by'm by few one lit down by the marsh, and went to feeden on the mus cles. I catched up my peauder horn to prime and i slipped right out my hand and sunk to the bottom a the river. The water was amizingly clear, and I coLA see it on the bottom. Now I could'nt swim a jot, sal sez to Uncle Zeke, you're a pretty clever feller, just me take your peauder horn to prime. And don't you think the stingy critter would not. Well says I you'r a pretty good diver, I'un, if you'll dive down and get L I'll give you a primin. I tho't he'd leave his peau horn, but he did'nt; but stuck it into his pocket down he went---and there he staid-here the old las opened her eyes with wonder and surprise and a pas of some minutes ensued, when Jonathan added. looked down and what do you think the critter wen doin?" "Lord!" exclaimed the old lady, 'I'm don't know.' "There he was' said our hero, 'aithn right on the bottom of the river pouring the powder a of my horn into hizen.'

A German priest walking in procession at the her of his parishioners, over cultivated fields in order t procure a blessing on their future crops, when :) came to those of an unpromising appearance, wo pass on, saying "here prayers and singing will a nothing: this must have manure!" [A wise priest Reasons why a ship is called she:

Because man knows not the expense till he gets the
Because they are useless without employment.
Because they look best when well rigged.
Because their value depends on their age.
Because they are upright when in stays.
Because they bring news from abroad.
Because they wear caps and bonnets.
Because they are often abandoned.
Because they are often painted.-Boston E. Post.

HOLY WATER-A very good story is related he Lambert in his travels, respecting the efficacy of beð water.

"A friend of mine (says he) was once present at house of a French lady in Canada, when a violen thunder storm commenced. The shutters were mediately closed and the room darkened. The of the house, not willing to leave the safety of hey! and company to chance, began to search her c for the bottle of holy water, which, by a sudden is of lightning, she fortunately found. The bottle uncorked, and its contents immediately sprinkled the ladies and gentlemen. It was a most dres storm, and lasted a considerable time; she therefore doubled her sprinklings and benedictions at every es of thunder or flash of lightning. At length the ceased, and the party were providentially saved its effects, which the good lady attributed solely to precious water. But when the shutters were opty and the light admitted, the whole company found the destruction of their white gowns and muslin kes kerchiefs; their coats, waistcoats, and breeches instead of holy water, the pious lady had sprink them with ink."

WIT AND SENTIMENT.

A YANKEE TRADE-Some years ago, the dealers in hats, caps and furs in a neigboring town, which has now risen to the importance of a city, entered into an agreement establishing an uniformity of prices, and in consequence, one of them posted up a highly emblazoned sign, bearing the inscription "one invariable price strictly adhered to." It chanced when this vender was sitting in his shop one day, musing upon the many bargains he had allowed to slip through his fingers by his adherence to the asking price, that a person entered, who at first glance was discovered to be possessed of a "shocking bad hat," and our hero intuitively rose and handed down several of his new ones, from common to extra superior. The visitor was uncommonly fastidious in his taste; he could discern some blemish in every one offered for inspection, until the last hat of the top row was transferred from the shelf to the counter, and again from the counter to the head of the customer. It was so perfect that not a blemish could be detected. A smile pervaded the countenance of Aminidab, (who wore a white broad brim) as he saw that the wearer was suited, and when the price was inquired, mildly announced it to be six dollars. "Six dollars!" exclaimed the other in astonishment, "why I bought full as good a one last year for five, surely that is sufficient for this." "Oh, no," replied the shop-keeper, "we have one price and must rigidly adhere to it." "well in that case I must try another store," and he accordingly made for the door. Principle and interest were struggling furiously in the heart of the hatter, and it was doubtful which would have obtained the ascendancy, had not a thought struck him by which he could secure the customer without any deviation from his established rule. "Stop, friend," exclaimed he, "I will tell thee what I can do-I will give thee a dollar, and then thee can purchase the hat at my price"-saying which, he took a silver dollar from his drawer and laid it on the counter, whence it was taken by the other, who, depositing it in his pocket, turned on his heel and left the shop, saying, "I will try elsewhere, and if cannot do better, will return and purchase of you."New Bedford Mer.

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CLERICAL ANECDOTE.-The late Mr. O ter at Ln, in this county, was famed for his ec centricities in the pulpit. On one occasion a St. Andrews student, of a long Highland pedigree, among others had heard of the Rev. gentleman's fame, and was determined not only to witness his exhibitions himself, but to take notes of his sermon for the edification of his friends and fellow students. Accordingly one Sunday our hero appeared in church, and requested one of the elders to show him into a pew, where he might take his notes unseen by pastor or congregation. He was accordingly shown into a retired corner of the church, which, however, was by no means invisible to Mr. Ó- who was apprised of the appearance and intentions of the learned stranger. After having chosen his text, Mr. O proceeded to exhort his hearers, during the course of which more than one person fell asleep. Among these was Janet-, an old woman, who kept a small alehouse in the Brae of L. The neighbors of poor Janet endeavored in vain to awake her. She continued to snore so loud and so long, that she at length arrested the attention of the preacher. "Stop, stop," said Mr.O"I'll waken her. Bring in a bottle o' ale and a gill, Janet." "Comin', Sir," responded Janet, starting to her feet awake. "I tell't you sae," replied the minis ter; "my brethren-it is as impossible to keep that woman frae sleepin', as it is to keep a Highlandman frae stealin'. There never was a Highlandman that ever I kend but fat was a thief. Put ye down that in your notes, my young friend!"-[Dundee Constitutional.

shower, sought shelter from the rain in the house of a A GOOD REASON.-A man being overtaken by a negro fiddler. On entering, he found the negro in the only dry spot in the house-the chimney corner-as happy as a clam, fiddling most merrily. Our traveller tried to keep dry, but the rain came in from all quarters. "Jack," said he, "why don't you fix your house?" "O cause er rain so I cant." "But why don't you fix it when it don't rain?" "O wen er don't rain, er don't need no fixin!"

BUYING A HAT.-" Misther, have you ever a palm leaf hat?" Yes Sir. "I wad be after purchasing one, Somebody, we believe Figaro, gave us this-it is not and what will ye ax?" Nine shillings-" Nine shil-bad, and we insert it among our pearls" :-A shrewd lings! but that bates the devil intirely; I could buy nutmeg-vender, remarkable for taking a hint, being that same for four and sixpence a while since!" asked why he gave up visiting a buxom, good-looking well, wait a while, till summer is over, and you may girl in the neighborhood, replied he was kicked out of have this for that price. "True for ye, but what'll cov-doors the last time he went to see her, and that was er the head of me the while? O by the powers I'll fix hint enough for him! it so that nather of us will be cheated-I'll take the hat now and pay when the price is down."

A gentleman having, in a dense crowd, accidentally stepped on the toe of the one next him, asked pardon for his carelessness. "No matter, sir," was the good natured reply, "it is only an error of the press."

A witness being called into court to testify in a certain cause there pending, on being asked what he knew of the matter, gave the following lucid evidence. He undertakes to relate a conversation between himself and the defendant.

AMERICAN GENERALS. Washington was a surveyor and in after life a farmer-." Expressive silence! muse his praise." Knox was a book-binder and stationer. Morgan (he of the Cowpens) was a drover. Tarlton got from him a sound lecture on that subject. Green was a black-smith, and withal a Quaker, albeit through all this southern campaigns, and particularly at the Eutaw Springs, he put off the outward man. Arnold(I ask pardon for naming him in such company)--was "Pat! said he-What! said I-Here, said hea grocer and provision store keeper, in New Haven, Where? said I-Its cold said he-Faith it is, said Iwhere his sign is still to be seen; the same that deco Oho! said he-Ah! said I-The Devil! said he-When rated his shop before the revolution. Gates, who open-[Whistling] said I—And that's all he told me upon the ed Burgoyne's eyes to the fact that he could not "march subject. through the United States with 5000 men," was a regular built soldier," but after the revolution, a farmer. A worshipful member of a certain corporation, imWarren, the martyr of Bunker Hill, was a physician, mediately engaged in the interests of the Bentinck and hesitated not to exhibit to his countrymen a splen- family, having visited London, the Duke of Portland did example of the manner in which American physi-politely invited him to dinner. "My Lord! I am sorry cians should practise when called upon by their coun-I cannot accept your kind offer," was the tenor of the try, Marion, the "old Boy" of the South, South Car- reply, "But my son Johnny will be glad to come in my olina, was a shepherd's boy. room, because he never saw a Duke."

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A SKETCH.

"Twas the deep noon of night;

But still as if each zephyr had been hush'd
In some far distant bowers; the moonlight rays
Streamed on the thousand leaves of the dark oak
A lustre, like the pearly light of some

Young angel's wings, when sporting o'er the wave
Of the calm lake of Heaven. A silver cloud
Hung movelessly in its broad path of blue,
An inland spot on the pure placid tide

Of a bright ocean. Hush'd by the calm scene,
No insect wing roam'd in the quiet air;
The cricket too, awed into silence, hushed
Unconsciously, his tiny voice of praise;
So pure the air, you might have heard the dew
Upon the broad leaves falling

One form alone sought the still night: his eye
Anon upon the bright moon turned, anon,
Upon her wandering beams, as oft

They flung their radiance o'er some little rill,

CHAPTER OF MISSES.

Th dear little Misses we meet with in life,
What hopes and what fears they awaken;
And when a man's ta-king a Miss for his Wife,
He is Mis-led as well as Mis-ta-ken.
When I courted Miss Kid and obtained the kiss,
I thought in the warmth of my passion,
That I'd make a great Hit in thus gaining a Miss,
But 'twas only a Miss-calcu-la-tion.

For so many Misses, surrounded Miss Kid,
With me and my love interfering:

A jealous Miss-trust put it into her head
That she ought not to give me a hearing.
There's a certain Miss-chance that I met with one
day

Almost sent my hopes to destruction,

And she felt a suspicton of all I might say-
And all owing to one Miss-construction.
Deceived by a Miss-information I wrote,

Like memory's glance on the past days of youth-The cause of her anger demanding;
"O what a grand and glorious night," cried he,
"FOR KILLING SKUNKS.'

Young M., a poetical, romantic, gin-drinking youth, has been laboring under "a slight mistake," in paying his devoirs to a second rate Psyche in the vicinity of the Bowling Green, and playing a thousand antics beneath the parlor windows. The unfortunate wight has at last discovered that she lived at the back of the house. Figaro has favored us with the subjoined lines on this dire mishap:

M-fell in love with a maid,

Each night 'neath the window he stood, And there with his soft serenade

He awakened the whole neighborhood;—
But vainly he tried to arouse

Her sleep, with his strains so bewitching:
While he played in front of the house-
She slept in the little back kitchen.

Miss-direction prevented her getting the note,
And introduced Miss-understanding.
When to make her my wife I exultingly swore,
Miss-belief made her doubt my intention,
And I nearly got wed to Miss-fortune before
I could wean her from Miss-apprehension
But when she no longer would yield to Miss-douk,
She had with Miss-like a most serious fall out,
Nor be led by Miss-representation,
And to wed felt no more hesitation.
But when at the church to be married we met
Miss-take made the Parson to linger,

And I got so annoyed by an awkward Miss-fit,
I could not get the ring on her finger.

Having been so Miss-used, I now keep a strict
watch,

Tho' I still liv'd in fear of Miss-carriage,

And I found, when too late, an unlucky Miss-match,
Interfered with the joys of my marriage,

Miss-management there took her station,
Till my case, like the time I take singing my song,
Was all wasted by Miss-application.

WELSH FLANNEL-A Rational Reason for Marry-Miss-rule in my dwelling put every thing wrong ing.-"How could you do so imprudent a thing," said a curate to a very poor Taffy; "what reason' could you have for marrying a girl as completely steeped in poverty as yourself, and both without the prospect of the slightest provision?" "Why, Sir," replied the Be- FRENCH BULL.-A lady wrote to her lover, begging nedict, "we had a very good reason: we had a blan-him to send her some money. She added, by way of ket a-piece; and as the cold winter weather was postscript, "I am so ashamed of the request I have coming on, we thought that putting them together made in this letter, that I sent after the postman to get would be warmer."-Literary Gaz. it back, but the servant could not overtake him."

NEY.-An officer asked him one day (says the MeLAKES. In travelling to a place called White Pmoirs just published,) if he had ever been afraid; thus summing up in a single word that profound indiffer-geon, about 150 miles west of Detroit, a great many ence to danger, that forgetfulness of death, that ten- Lakes are seen, from one to five miles in length, and sion of mind, and that mental labor so necessary to a some of them very handsome-the banks are generally general-in-chief upon the field of battle. "I have nev-sloping to the water, which is pure as crystal, and many of them abound with fine fish.

er had time," was the Marshal's reply.

This indifference, however, did not prevent him from noticing in others those slight shades of weak- A COQUETTE IN INDIA.-"And who," says I, "is that ness from which very few soldiers are wholly exempt. pretty young lady to whom three gentlemen are payAn officer was one day making a report to him: aing court?" "It is Miss T., giving laws to her trun cannon ball passed so close to them, that the officer bent his head as if by instinct to avoid it nevertheless, he continued his report without betraying any emotion. "Very well," said the Marshal: "but another time don't make so low a bow."

A lady looking at some stockings in a dry goods store, inquired of the clerk, who was a raw lad, how high they came? The clerk very seriously answered, "I never tried them on, but believe they will reach above the knee."

virate; she possesses talents of no common order.What an acquisition she would have been to the Czar or the coteries of Paris! She has not yet numbered twenty summers, yet observe with what a delicate poise she preserves the balance of power. To one of her adorers she had given her fan, to another her scart, the third was 'au desespoir.' What was to be done?Fortunately the ribbon of her sandal was loose, she told the despairing one to tie it, he did so, recovered his garty, and an universal equilibrium was the consequence.” East India Magazine.