cream: But the milk itself should not pafs unanalysed, the produce of faded cabbage-leaves and four draff, lowered with hot water, frothed with bruised fnails, carried through the streets in open pails, expofed to foul rinfings discharged from doors and windows, fpittle, fnot, and tobacco-quids from foot-paffengers, overflowings from mud-carts, fpatterings from coach-wheels, dirt and trash chucked into it by roguish boys for the joke's fake, the fpewings of infants, who have flabbered in the tinmeasure, which is thrown back in that condition among the milk, for the benefit of the next customer; and, finally, the vermin that drops from the rags of the nafty drab that vends this precious mixture, under the respectable denomination of milk-maid.

I SHALL conclude this catalogue of London dainties with that table-beer, guiltlefs of hops and malt, vapid and naufeous, much fitter to facilitate the operation of a vomit, than to quench thirft and promote digestion; the tallowy rancid mafs called butter, manufactured with candle-grease and kitchen-stuff; and their fresh eggs, imported from France and Scotland.-Now, all these enormities might be remedied with a very little attention to the article of police, or civil regulation; but the wife patriots of London have taken it into their heads, that all regulation is inconfiftent with liberty; and that every man ought to live in his own way, without reftraint.-Nay, as there is not fenfe enough left among them to be discompofed by the nuifances I have mentioned, they may, for aught I care, wallow in the mire of their own pollution.

A COMPANIONABLE man will, undoubtedly, put up with many inconveniencies, for the fake of enjoying agreeable fociety. A facetious friend of mine used to fay, the wine could not be bad where the company was agreeable; a maxim which, however, ought to be taken cum grano falis : But what is the fociety of London, that I should be tempted for its fake to mortify my fenfes, and compound with fuch uncleannefs as my foul abhors? All the people I fee are too much ingroffed by fchemes of intereft or ambition, to have any room left for fentiment or friendship-Even in fome of my old acquaintance, thofe fchemes and purfuits have obli

terated all traces of our former connection.-Converfation is reduced to party difputes and illiberal altercation -focial commerce to formal vifits and card-playing.If you pick up a diverting original by accident, it may be dangerous to amufe yourself with his oddities-He is generally a tartar at bottom-a fharper, a spy, or a lunatic. Every person you deal with endeavours to overreach you in the way of bufinefs-You are preyed upon by idle mendicants, who beg in the phrase of borrowing, and live upon the fpoils of the ftranger-Your tradefmen are without confcience, your friends without affection, and your dependents without fidelity.

My letter would fwell into a treatife, were I to particularize every caufe of offence that fills up the measure of my averfion to this and every other crouded city.Thank Heaven! I am not fo far fucked into the vortex, but that I can difengage myself without any great effort of philofophy. From this wild uproar of knavery, folly, and impertinence, I fhall fly with double relish to the ferenity of retirement, the cordial effufions of unreferved friendship, the hofpitality and protection of the rural gods; in a word, the jucunda oblivia vita, which Horace himself had not taste enough to enjoy.

I HAVE agreed for a good travelling coach and four, at a guinea a-day, for three months certain ; and next week we intend to begin our journey to the north, hoping ftill to be with you by the latter end of October.-I shall continue to write from every stage where we make any confiderable halt, as often as any thing occurs which I think can afford you the least amusement. In the mean time, I must beg you will fuperintend the economy of Barnes, with refpect to my hay and corn harvests; affured that my ground produces nothing but what you may freely call your own.-On any other terms I fhould be afhamed to fubfcribe myself

Your invariable friend,

MATT. BRAMBLE.

London, June 8.

VOL. VI,

S

To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, Bart. of Jefus College Oxon.

DEAR PHILLIPS,

IN

my last I mentioned my having fpent an evening with a fociety of authors, who seemed to be jealous and afraid of one another. My uncle.was not at all furprifed to hear me fay I was difappointed in their converfation. "A man may be very entertaining and inftructive upon paper (faid he), and exceedingly dull in common difcourfe. I have obferved, that those who fhine most in private company are but secondary stars in the conftellation of genius. A fmall stock of ideas is more easily managed, and fooner displayed, than a great quantity crouded together. There is very feldom any thing extraordinary in the appearance and addrefs of a good writer; whereas a dull author generally distinguifhes himself by fome oddity or extravagance. For this reafon, I fancy that an affembly of Grubs must be very diverting."

My curiofity being excited by this hint, I confulted my friend Dick Ivy, who undertook to gratify it the very next day, which was Sunday laft.-He carried me to dine with S, whom you and I have long known by his writings.-He lives in the fkirts of the town, and every Sunday his houfe is open to all unfortunate brothers of the quill, whom he treats with beef, pudding, and potatoes, port, punch, and Calvert's entire butt-beer.--He has fixed upon the first day of the week for the exercife of his hofpitality, becaufe fome of his guests could not enjoy it on any other, for réafons that I need not explain. I was civilly received, in a plain yet decent habitation, which opened backwards into a very pleasant garden, kept in excellent order; and, indeed, I faw none of the outward figns of authorfhip, either in the houfe or the landlord, who is one of thofe few writers of the age that ftand upon their own foundation, without patronage, and above dependence. If there was nothing characteristic in the en

tertainer, the company made ample amends for his want of fingularity.

AT two in the afternoon, I found myfelf one of ten mefs-mates feated at table; and I queftion if the whole kingdom could produce fuch another affemblage of originals. Among their peculiarities, I do not mention those of drefs, which may be purely accidental. What ftruck me were oddities originally produced by affectation, and afterwards confirmed by habit. One of them wore fpectacles at dinner, and another his hat. flapped; though (as Ivy told me) the firft was noted for having a feaman's eye, when a bailiff was in the wind; and the other was never known to labour under any weakness or defect of vifion, except about five years ago, when he was complimented with a couple of black eyes by a player, with whom he had quarrelled in his drink. A third wore a laced stocking, and made use of crutches, because, once in his life, he had been laid up with a broken leg, though no man could leap over a ftick with more agility. A fourth had contracted fuch an antipathy to the country, that he infifted upon fitting with his back towards the window that looked into the garden; and when a dish of cauliflower was fet upon the table, he fnuffed up volatile falts to keep him from fainting: Yet this delicate perfon was the fon of a cottager, born under a hedge, and had many years run wild among affes on a common. A fifth affected diftraction-When spoke to, he always answered from the purpose-fometimes he fuddenly started up, and rapped out a dreadful oath-fometimes he burst out a laughing then he folded his arms, and fighed-and then he hiffed like fifty ferpents.

AT first, I really thought he was mad, and, as he fat near me, began to be under fome apprehenfions for my own fafety, when our landlord, perceiving me alarmed, affured me aloud, that I had nothing to fear-" The gentleman (faid he) is trying to act a part for which he is by no means qualified-if he had all the inclination in the world, it is not in his power to be mad. His fpirits are too flat to be kindled into frenzy."""Tis no bad p-p-puff, how-ow-ever (obferved a person in a tarnished laced coat); aff-ffected m-madness w-will p-pass for

w-wit w-with nine-nine-teen out of t-wenty"—" And affected stuttering for humour (replied our landlord); though, God knows, there is no affinity betwixt them." It feems, this wag, after having made fome abortive attempts in plain speaking, had recourse to this defect, by means of which he frequently extorted the laugh of the company, without the leaft expence of genius; and that imperfection, which he had at firft counterfeited, was now become fo habitual, that he could not lay it aside.

A CERTAIN winking genius, who wore yellow gloves at dinner, had, on his first introduction, taken fuch offence at S-, because he looked and talked, and ate and drank like any other man, that he spoke contemptuouily of his understanding ever after, and never would repeat his vifit, until he had exhibited the following proof of his caprice. Wat Wyvil, the poet, having made fome unfuccefsful advances towards an intimacy with S, at laft gave him to understand, by a third perfon, that he had written a poem in his praise, and a fatire against his perfon; that, if he would admit him to his houfe, the first should be immediately fent to the prefs; but that, if he persisted in declining his friendthip, he would publifh the fatire without delay. S― replied, that he looked upon Wyvil's panegyric, as, in effect, a fpecies of infamy, and would refent it accordingly with a good cudgel; but if he published the fatire, he might deferve his compaffion, and had nothing to fear from his revenge. Wyvil, having confidered the alternative, refolved to mortify S, by printing the panegyric, for which he received a found drubbing. Then he fwore the peace against the aggreffor, who, in order to avoid a profecution at law, admitted him to his good graces. It was the fingularity in S's conduct on this occafion, that reconciled him to the yellowgloved philofopher, who owned he had fome genius, and from that period cultivated his acquaintance.

CURIOUS to know upon what fubjects the several talents of my fellow-guefts were employed, I applied to my communicative friend, Dick Ivy, who gave me to understand, that most of them were, or had been, underftrappers, or journeymen, to more creditable authors, for whom they tranflated, collated, and compiled, in the