AT that inftant, the Abbey bells began to ring fo loud, that we could not hear one another speak; and this peal, as we afterwards learned, was for the honour of Mr Bullock, an eminent cowkeeper of Tottenham, who had just arrived at Bath, to drink the waters for indigestion. Mr Bramble had not time to make his remarks upon the agreeable nature of this ferenade, before his ears were faluted with another concert that interested him more nearly. Two negroes that belonged to a Creole gentleman, who lodged in the fame house, taking their station at a window in the ftair-cafe, about ten feet from our dining-room door, began to practife upon the French-horn; and, being in the very first rudiments of execution, produced fuch difcordant founds, as might have difcompofed the organs of an afs-You may guess what effect they had upon the irritable nerves of uncle; who, with the most admirable expreffion of fplenetic furprise in his countenance, fent his man to filence thofe dreadful blafts, and defire the musicians to practise in some other place, as they had no right to ftand there, and difturb all the lodgers in the house. Thofe fable performers, far from taking the hint, and withdrawing, treated the meffenger with great infolence, bidding him carry his compliments to their mafter Colonel Rigworm, who would give him a proper anfwer, and a good drubbing into the bargain: In the mean time they continued their noife, and even endeavoured to make it more difagreeable, laughing between whiles, at the thoughts of being able to torment their betters with impunity. Our fquire, incenfed at the additional infult, immediately dispatched the fervant with his compliments to Colonel Rigworm, requesting that he would order his blacks to be quiet, as the noise they made was altogether intolerable-To this meffage the Creole colonel replied, that his horns had a right to found on a common stair-cafe; that there they should play for his diverfion; and that those who did not like the noise might look for lodgings elsewhere. Mr Bramble no fooner received this reply, than his eyes began to gliften, his face grew pale, and his teeth chattered. After a moment's paufe, he flipt on his fhoes without fpeaking a word, or feeming to feel any farther difturbance from

the gout in his toes. Then fnatching his cane, he opened the door, and proceeded to the place where the black trumpeters were pofted. There, without farther hefitation, he began to belabour them both; and exerted himself with fuch astonishing vigour and agility, that both their heads and horns were broken in a twinkling, and they ran howling down ftairs to their mafter's parlour-door. The fquire, following them half way, called aloud, that the colonel might hear him, "Go, rafcals, and tell your mafter what I have done; if he thinks himself injured, he knows where to come for fatisfaction. As for you, this is but an earnest of what you fhall receive, if ever you presume to blow a horn again here, while I stay in the house." So faying, he retired to his apartment, in expectation of hearing from the Weft Indian; but the colonel prudently declined any farther profecution of the difpute. My fifter Liddy was frighted into a fit, from which fhe was no fooner recovered than Mrs Tabitha began a lecture upon patience; which her brother interrupted with a moft fignificant grin, exclaiming, "True, fifter, God increase my patience and your difcretion. I wonder (added he) what fort of fonata we are to expect from this overture, in which the devil that prefides over horrid founds hath given us fuch variations of difcord-The trampling of porters, the creaking and crashing of trunks, the fnarling of curs, the fcolding of women, the squeaking and fqualling of fiddles and hautboys out of tune, the bouncing of the Irish baronet overhead, and the bursting, belching, and brattling of the French horns in the paffage (not to mention the harmonious peal that still thunders from the Abbey fteeple), fucceeding one another without interruption, like the different parts of the fame concert, have given me fuch an idea of what a poor invalid has to expect in this temple, dedicated to filence and repofe, that I fhall certainly fhift my quarters to-morrow, and endeavour to effectuate my retreat before Sir Ulic opens the ball with my Lady Macmanus, a conjunction that bodes me no good." This intimation. was by no means agreeable to Mrs Tabitha, whofe ears were not quite fo delicate as thofe of her brother-She faid it would be great folly to move from fuch agree

able lodgings, the moment they were comfortably fettled. She wondered he should be fuch an enemy to mufic and mirth. She heard no noife but of his own making: It was impoffible to manage a family in dumb fhew. He might harp as long as he pleafed upon her fcolding; but the never fcolded except for his advantage; but he would never be fatisfied, even tho'f fhe fhould fweat blood and water in his fervice. I have a great notion that our aunt, who is now declining into the most desperate state of celibacy, had formed fome defign upon the heart of Sir Ulic Mackilligut, which the feared might be fruftrated by our abrupt departure from these lodgings. Her brother, eying her askance, "Pardon me, fifter (faid he), I fhould be a favage, indeed, were I infenfible of my own felicity, in having fuch a mild, complaifant, good-humoured, and confiderate companion and housekeeper; but as I have got a weak head, and my fenfe of hearing is painfully acute, before I have recourfe to plugs of wool and cotton, I'll, try whether I can't find another lodging, where I fhall have more quiet and lefs mufic." He accordingly difpatched his man upon this fervice; and next day he found a small house in Milfham-ftreet, which he hires by the week. Here at least we enjoy convenience and quiet within doors, as much as Tabby's temper will allow; but the fquire ftill complains of flying pains in the stomach and head, for which he bathes and drinks the waters. He is not fo bad, however, but that he goes in person to the pump, the rooms, and the coffeehouses, where he picks up continual food for ridicule and fatire. If I can glean any thing for your amusement, either from his obfervation or my own, you shall have it freely, though I am afraid it will poorly compensate the trouble of reading these tedious infipid letters of, Dear Phillips,

Yours always,

VOL. VI.

E

J. MELFORD.

DEAR DOCTOR,

To Dr LEWIS.

Bath, April 23.

F I did not know that the exercife of your profeffion has habituated you to the hearing of complaints, I fhould make a confcience of troubling you with my correfpondence, which may be truly called the lamentations of Matthew Bramble. Yet I cannot help thinking, I have fome right to discharge the overflowings of my spleen upon you, whofe province it is to remove those disorders that occafioned it; and let me tell you, it is no fmall alleviation of my grievances, that I have a fenfible friend, to whom I can communicate my crufty humours, which, by retention, would grow intolerably acrimonious.

You must know, I find nothing but difappointment at Bath, which is fo altered, that I can fcarce believe it is the fame place that I frequented about thirty years ago. Methinks I hear you fay, " Altered it is, without all doubt; but then it is altered for the better; a truth, which, perhaps, you would own without hefitation, if you yourself was not altered for the worse." The reflection may, for aught I know, be just. The inconveniencies which I overlooked in the high day of health, will naturally strike with exaggerated impreffion on the irritable nerves of an invalid, furprifed by premature old age, and fhattered with long fufferingBut, I believe, you will not deny, that this place, which Nature and Providence feem to have intended as a refource from diftemper and difquiet, is become the very centre of racket and diffipation. Inftead of that peace, tranquillity, and ease, fo neceffary to those who labour under bad health, weak nerves, and irregular spirits; here we have nothing but noife, tumult, and hurry, with the fatigue and flavery of maintaining a ceremonial, more ftiff, formal, and oppreffive, than the etiquette of a German elector. A national hofpital it may be; but one would imagine, that none but lunatics are admitted; and, truly, I will give you leave to call me fo, if I ftay much longer at Bath-But I fhall take another

opportunity to explain my fentiments at greater length on this fubject-I was impatient to fee the boafted improvements in architecture, for which the upper parts of the town have been fo much celebrated, and t'other day I made a circuit of all the new buildings. The fquare, though irregular, is, on the whole, pretty well laid out, fpacious, open, and airy; and, in my opinion, by far the moft wholesome and agreeable fituation in Bath, efpecially the upper fide of it; but the avenues to it are mean, dirty, dangerous, and indirect. Its communication with the baths is through the yard of an inn, where the poor trembling valetudinarian is carried in a chair, betwixt the heels of a double row of horfes, wincing under the curry-combs of grooms and poftillions, over and above the hazard of being ob ftructed, or overturned by the carriages which are continually making their exit or their entrance-I fuppofe, after fome chairmen fhall have been maimed, and a few lives loft by thofe accidents, the corporation will think, in earneft, about providing a more fafe and commodious paffage. The Circus is a pretty bauble; contrived for thew, and looks like Vefpafian's amphitheatre, turned outfide in. If we confider it in point of magnificence, the great number of small doors belonging to the feparate houfes, the inconfiderable height of the different orders, the affected ornaments of the architrave, which are both childish and misplaced, and the areas projecting into the street, furrounded with iron rails, destroy a good part of its effect upon the eye; and perhaps we fhall find it ftill more defective, if we view it in the light of convenience. The figure of each feparate dwelling-house, being the fegment of a circle, must spoil the fymmetry of the rooms, by contracting them towards the ftreet windows, and leaving a larger fweep in the space behind. If, instead of the areas and iron rails, which feem to be of very little ufe, there had been a corridore with arcades all round, as in Covent Garden, the appearance of the whole would have been more magnificent and ftriking; thofe arcades would have afforded an agreeable covered walk, and fheltered the poor chairmen and their carriages from the rain, which is here almost perpetual. At prefent, the chairs