· per or other. The first question that is generally Τῶν δ ̓ ἀκάμαλος ξέει αὐδή 'Ex rouátur nderæ. Their untir'd lips a wordy torrent pour. W Hefiod. E are told by fome ancient authors, that Socrates was instructed in eloquence by a woman, whofe name, if I am not mistaken, was Afpafia. I have indeed very often looked upon that art as the most proper for the female fex, and I think the universities would do well to confider whether they fhould not fill the rhetoric chairs with the profeffors. It has been faid in the praise of some men, that they could talk whole hours together upon any thing; but it must be owned to the honour of the other fex, that there are many among them who can talk whole hours together upon nothing. I have known a woman branch out into a long extempore differtation upon the edging of a petticoat, and chide her fervant for breaking a china cup, in all the figures of rhetoric. afked a young woman that wants to be a nurse, No 247. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13. Why the should be a nurfe to other people's children; is anfwered, by her having an ill husband, and that she must make shift to live. 6 I think now this very answer is enough to give. any body a fhock, if duly confidered; for an ill husband may, or ten to one if he does not, bring home to his wife an ill diftemper, or at leaft vexation and difturbance. Befides, as the takes the child out of mere neceffity, her food ⚫ will be accordingly, or else very coarfe at beft; whence proceeds an ill-concocted and coarfe food for the child; for as the blood, fo is the milk; and hence I am very well affured pro⚫ ceeds the fcurvy, the evil, and many other diftempers. I beg of you, for the fake of the many poor infants that may and will be faved by weighing this cafe seriously, to exhort the people with the utmost vehemence to let the children fuck their own mothers, both for the benefit of mother and child. For the general argument, that a mother is weakened by giving fuck to her children, is vain and fimple; I will ⚫ maintain that the mother grows ftronger by it, and will have her health better than fhe would have otherwife: She will find it the greatest cure and prefervative for the vapours and fu⚫ture miscarriages, much beyond any other remedy whatsoever. Her children will be like giants, whereas otherwife they are but living ⚫ mhadows and like unripe fruit; and certainly if a woman is ftrong enough to bring forth a child, the is beyond all doubt strong enough to nurfe it afterwards. It grieves me to obferve ⚫ and confider how many poor children are daily ' ruined by carelefs nurfes; and yet how tender ought they to be of a poor infant, fince the leaft hurt or blow, efpecially upon the head, 'may make it fenfeless, stupid, or otherwife miferable for ever? But I cannot well leave this subject as yet; for it seems to me very unnatural, that a woman that has fed a child as part of herself for nine months, fhould have no defire to nurse it farther, when brought to light and before her ⚫ eyes, and when by its cry it implores her affiftance and the office of a mother. Do not the " very cruelleft of brutes tend their young ones ⚫ with all the care and delight imaginable? For • how can the be called a mother that will not nurfe her young ones? The earth is called, the ⚫ mother of all things, not because the produces, but, because the maintains and nurfes what the produces. The generation of the infant is the • effect of defire, but the care of it argues virtue and choice. I am not ignorant but that there ⚫ are some cases of neceffity where a mother • cannot give fuck, and then out of two evils the • least must be chofen; but there are fo very few, • that I am fure in a thousand there is hardly • one real inftance; for if a woman does but know that her husband can spare about three or fix fhillings a week extraordinary, although this is but feldom confidered, the certainly, with the affiftance of her goffips, will foon ⚫ perfuade the good man to fend the child to nurfe, and eafily impose upon him by pretend. • ed indifpofition. Thus cruelty is fupported by fashion, and nature gives place to custom. SIR, your humble fervant,' T Were women admitted to plead in courts of judicature, I am perfuaded they would carry the eloquence of the bar to greater heights than iz has yet arrived at. If any one doubts this, let him but be prefent at thofe debates which frequently arife among the ladies of the British fishery. The firft kind therefore of female orators which I fhall take notice of, are those who are employed in ftirring up the paffions, a part of rhetoric in which Socrates his wife had perhaps made a greater proficiency than his above-mentioned teacher. The The fecond kind of female orators are thofe who deal in invectives, and who are commonly known by the name of the cenforious. imagination and elocution of this set of rhetori cians is wonderful. With what a fluency of invention, and copiousness of expreffion, will they enlarge upon every little flip in the behaviour of another? With how many different circumstan, ces, and with what variety of phrafes, will they tell over the fame ftory? I have known an old lady make an unhappy marriage the fubject of a month's converfation. She blamed the bride in one place; pitied her in another: laughed at her in a third; wondered at her in a fourth; was angry with her in a fifth; and in fhort, wore out a pair of coach-horfes in expreffing her concern for her. At length, after having quite exhausted the fubject on this fide, fhe made a vifit to the new-married pair, praifed the wife for the pru dent choice she had made, told her the unreasonable reflexions which fome malicious people had caft upon her, and desired that they might be bet ter acquainted. The cenfure and approbation of this kind of women are therefore only to be con fidered as helps to difcourfe. A third kind of female orators may be comprehended under the word goffips. Mrs. Fiddle Faddle is perfectly accomplished in this fort of eloquence; the launches out into defcriptions of chriftenings, runs divifions upon an head-drefs, knows every difh of meat that is ferved up in her neighbouroood, and entertains her company a whole afternoon together with the wit of her little boy, before he is able to speak. The coquette may be looked upon as a fourth kind of female orators To give herself the larger field for discourse, the hates and loves in the fame breath, talks to her lap-dog or parrot, is uneafy in all kinds of weather, and in every part of the room: fhe has falfe quarrels and feigned obligations to all the men of her acquaintance; fighs, when he is not fad, and laughs when the is not merry. The coquette is in particular a great miftrefs of that part of oratory which is called action, and indeed feems to speak for no other purpose, but as it gives her an opportunity of ftirring a limb, or varying a feature, of glancing her eyes, or playing with her fan. As for news,mongers, politicians, mimics, ftory-tellers, with other characters of that nature, which give birth to loquacity, they are as commonly found among the men as the women; for which reafon I fhall pass them over in filence. I have often been puzzled to affign a caufe why women fhould have this talent of a ready utterance in fo much greater perfection than men. I have fometimes fancied that they have not a retentive power, or the faculty of fuppreffing their thoughts, as men have, but that they are neceffitated to fpeak every thing they think, and if fo, it would perhaps furnish a very ftrong argument to the Cartefians, for the fupporting of their doctrine, that the foul always thinks. But as feveral are of opinion that the fair fex are not altogether ftrangers to the art of diffembling and concealing their thoughts, I have been forced to relinquish that opinion, and have therefore endeavoured to feek after fome better reafon. In order to it, a friend of mine who is an excellent anatomist, has promifed me by the first opportunity to diffect a woman's tongue, and to examine whether there may not be in it certain juices which render it fo wonderfully voluble or flippant, or whether the fibres of it may not be made up of a finer or more pliant thread, or whether there are not in it fome particular muscles which dart it up and down by fuch fudden glances and vibrations; or whether in the last place, there may not be fome certain undiscovered channels running from the head and the heart, to this little inftrument of loquacity, and conveying into it a perpetual affiuence of animal fpirits. Nor must I omit the reafon which Hudibras has give en, why thofe who can talk on trifles fpeak with the greatest fluency; namely, that the tongue is like a race-horse, which runs the fafter the leffer weight it carries. Which of thefe reafons foever may be looked upon as the most probable, I think the 1-ifhman's thought was very natural, who after fome hours converfation with a female orator, told her, that he believed her tongue was very glad when the was afleep, for that it had not a moment's reft all the while he was awake. That excellent old ballad of the wanton wife of Bath, has the following remarkable lines: "I think, quoth Thomas, womens tongues "Of afpen leaves are made." And Ovid, though in the defcription of a very barbarous circumftance, tells us: That when the tongue of a beautiful female was cut out, and thrown upon the ground, it could not forbear muttering even in that posture. - Comprenfam forcipe Inruam "Apulit & fi fero, Radix micat ultima linguæ. « Ipfa jacet, terræque tremens immurmurat atræ : : "The blade had cut "Her tongue fheer of, close to the trembling root:" "The mangl'd part ftill quiver'd on the ground, « Murmuring with a faint imperfect found; "And, as a ferpent wreaths his wounded train, « Uneafy, panting, and poffefs'd with pain." tance. T HERE are none who deferve fuperiority do not make it their endeavour to be beneficial over others in the esteem of mankind, whò to fociety; and who upon all occafions which their circumftances of life can adminifter, do not take a certain unfeigned pleasure in conferring bencfits of one kind or other. Thofe whose great talents and high birth have placed them in confpicuous ftations of life, are indifpenfibly obliged to exert fome noble inclinations for the fervice of the world, or elfe fuch advantages become misfortunes, and fhade and privacy are à inclinations are given to the fame perfon, we more eligible portion. Where opportunities and fometimes fee fublime inftances of virtue which fcorn on all which in lower fcenes of life we may fo dazzle our imaginations, that we look with ourfelves be able to practife. But this is a vicious way of thinking; and it bears fome spice of romantic madnefs, for a man to imagine that he muft grow ambitious, or feck adventures, to be able to do great actions. It is in every man's power in the world who is above mere poverty, not only to do things worthy but heroic. The great foundation of civil virtue is felf-denial; and there is no one above the neceffities of life, but has opportunities of exerciting that noble quality, and doing as much as his circumstances will bear for the eafe and convenience of other men; and he who does more than ordinary men practife upon fuch occafions as occur in his life, deferves the value of his friends as if he had the highest glory. Men of public fpirit differ done enterprises which are ufually attended with rather in their circumftances than their virtue; and the man who does all he can in a low ftation, is more a hero than he who omits any worthy As great and exalted fpirits undertake the purfuit of hazardous actions for the good of others, at the fame time gratifying their paf fion for glory; fo do worthy minds in the domeftic way of life deny themselves many advantages, to fatisfy a generous benevolence which they bear to their friends oppreffed with diftreffes and calamities. Such natures one may call ftores of Providence, which are actuated by a fecret celeftial influence to undervalue the ordinary gratifications of wealth, to give comfort to an heart loaded with affliction, to fave a falling fa mily, to preserve a branch of trade in their neighbourhood, and give work to the induftrious, preferve the portion of the helplers infant, and raise the head of the mourning father. People whofe hearts are wholly bent toward pleasure, or intent upon gain, never hear of the noble occurrences among men of industry and humanity. It would look like a city romance to tell them of the generous merchant, who the other day fent this billet to an eminent trader under difficulties to fupport himself, in whofe fall many hundred befides himself had perifhed; but because I think there is more spirit and true gallantry in it than in any letter I have ever read from Strephon to Phillis, I fhall infert it even in the mercantile honeft ftile in which it was fent. I SIR, HAVE heard of the cafualties which have involved you in extreme diftrefs at this time; and knowing you to be a man of great good nature, industry, and probity, have refolved to ftand by you. Be of good chear, the bearer brings with him five thousand pounds, and has my order to answer your drawing as much more on my account. I did this in hafte, for fear I fhould come too late for your relief; but you may value yourfelf with me to the fum of fifty thousand pounds; for I can very chearfully run the hazard of being fo much lefs rich than I am now, to save an honeft man whom I love, Your friend and fervant, 'W. P. I think there is fomewhere in Montaigne mention made of a family book, wherein all the occurrences that happened from one generation of that houfe to another were recorded. Were T W HEN I make choice of a fubject that has not been treated on by others, I throw together my reflexions on it without any order or method, fo that they may appear rather in the loofenefs and freedom of an effay, than in the regularity of a fet difcourfe. It is after this manner that I shall confider laughter and ridicule in my prefent paper. Man is the merriest species of the creation, all above and below him are ferious. He fees things. in a different light from other beings, and finds his mirth arifing from objects that perhaps caufe fomething like pity or displeasure in higher natures. Laughter is indeed a very good counterpoife to the fpleen; and it feems but reasonable that we fhould be capable of receiving joy from what is no real good to us, fince we can receive grief from what is no real evil. I have in my forty-feventh paper raised a fpeculation on the notion of a modern philofopher, who defcribes the firft motive of laughter to be a fecret comparifon which we make between ourselves, and the perfons we laugh at; or, in other words, that fatisfaction which we receive from the opinion of fome pre-eminence in ourselves, when we see the abfurdities of another, or when we reflect on any past abfurdities of our own. This seems to hold in most cafes, and we may obferve that the vaineft part of mankind are the most addicted to this paffion. I have read a fermen of a conventual in the church of Rome, on those words of the wife man," I faid of laughter, it is mad; and of mirth, "mirth, what does it?" Upon which he laid it down as a point of doctrine, that laughter was the effect of original fin, and that Adam could not laugh before the fall. Laughter, while it lafts, flackens and unbraces the mind, weakens the faculties, and caufes a kind of remiffness and diffolution in all the pow ers of the foul: and thus far it may be looked upon as a weaknefs in the compofition of human nature. But if we confider the frequent reliefs we receive from it, and how often it breaks the gloom which is apt to deprefs the mind and damp our fpirits, with tranfient unexpected gleams of joy, one would take care not to grow too wife for fo great a pleasure of life. The talent of turning men into ridicule, and exposing to laughter thofe one converfes with, is the qualification of little ungenerous tempers. A young man with this caft of mind cuts him felf off from all manner of improvement. Every one has his flaws and weakneffes; nay, the greatest blemishes are often found in the moft hining characters; but what an abfurd thing is it to pafs over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities? to obferve his imperfections more than his virtues? and to make use of him for the fport of others, rather than for our own improvement? We therefore very often find, that perfons the moft accomplished in ridicule are thofe who are very fhrewd at hitting a blot, without exerting any thing mafterly in themselves. As there are many eminent critics who never writ a good line, there are many admirable buffoons that animadvert upon every fingle defect in another, without ever difcovering the leaft beauty of their own. By this means, thefe unlucky little wits often gain reputation in the esteem of vulgar minds, and raife themselves above perfons of much more laudable characters, If the talent of ridicule were employed to laugh men out of vice and folly, it might be of fome ufe to the world; but instead of this, we find that it is generally made ufe of to laugh men out of virtue and good fenfe, by attacking every thing that is folemn and ferious, decent and praiseworthy in human life. We may obferve, that in the first ages of the world, when the great fouls and mafter-pieces of human nature were produced, men fhined by a noble fimplicity of behaviour, and were ftrangers to thofe little embellishments which are fo fashionable in our prefent conversation. And it is very remarkable, that notwithstanding we fall fhort at prefent of the ancients in poetry, painting, oratory, hiftory, architecture, and all the noble arts and fciences which depend more upon genius than experience, we exceed them as much in doggrel, humour, burlesque, and all the trivial arts of ridicule. We meet with more raillery among the moderns, but more good fenfe among the ancients. The two great branches of ridicule in writing are comedy and burlefque. The first ridicules perfons by drawing them in their proper characters, the other by drawing them quite unlike themselves. Burlefque is therefore of two kinds; the first reprefents mean perfons in the accoutrements of heroes, the other defcribes great perfons acting and speaking like the bafeft among the people. Don Quixote is an inftance of the firft, and Lucian's gods of the fecond. It is a difpute among the critics, whether burlesque poetry runs beft in heroic verfe, like that of the Difpenfary; or in doggerel, like that of Hudibras. I think where the low character is to be raifed, the heroic is the proper measure; but when an hero is to be pulled down and degraded, it is done beft in doggerel. If Hudibras had been fet out with as much wit and humour in heroic verse as he is in doggerel, he would have made a much more agreeable figure than he does; though the generality of his readers are fo wonderfully pleafed with the double rhimes, that I do not expect many will be of my opinion in this particular. I fhall conclude this effay upon laughter with obferving, that the metaphor of laughing, applied to fields and meadows when they are in flower, or to trees when they are in blossom, runs through all languages; which I have not obferved of any other metaphor, excepting that of fire and burning when they are applied to love. This fhews that we naturally regard laughter, as what is in itself both amiable and beautiful. For this reafon likewife Venus has gained the title of quis, the laughter-loving dame, as Waller has tranflated it, and is reprefented by Horace as the goddefs who delights in laughter. Milton in a joyous affembly of imaginary perfons, has given us a very poetical figure of laugh His whole band of mirth is fo finely de ferihed, that I fhall fet down the paffage at length. ter. "But come, thou goddefs fair and free, "In heav'n yclep'd Euphrofyne, "And by men, heart-eafing mirth, "Whom lovely Venus at a birth, "With two fifter graces more, "To ivy-crowned Bacchus bore: "Hafte thee, nymph, and bring with thee Jeft and youthful jollity, "Quips and cranks, and wanton wiles, "Nods, and becks, and wreathed smiles, "Such as hang on Hebe's cheek, "And love to live in dimple fleek: "Sport that wrinkled care derides, "And Laughter holding both his fides. "Come, and trip it, as you go, "On the light fantastic toe; "And in thy right hand lead with thee "The mountain nymph, sweet liberty; "And if I give thee honour due, "Mirth, admit me of thy crew, "To live with her, and live with thee, "In unreproved pleafures free." No 250. MONDAY, DECEMBER 17. с Hor. Ep. 17. lib, 1. ver. 3 Yet hear what thy unfkilful friend can say, "OU fee the nature of my request by the Latin motto which I addrefs to you. I • am very fenfible I ought not to use many words to you, who are one of but few; but the follow ing piece, as it relates to fpeculation in propriety C of speech, being a curiofity in its kind, begs your patience. It was found in a poetical virtuofo's clofet among his rarities; and fince the feveral treatifes of thumbs, ears, and nofes, have obliged the world, this of eyes is at your fervice. The firft eye of confequence, under the invifible Author of all, is the visible luminary of the univerfe. This glorious fpectator is faid never to open his eyes at his rifing in the morning, without having a whole kingdom of adorers in Perfian filk waiting at his levee. Millions of creatures derive their fight from this original, who, befides his being the great director of optics, is the fureft teft whether eyes be of the fame fpecies with that of an eagle, or that of an owl: the one he emboldens with a manly affurance to look, fpeak, act or plead before the faces of a numerous affembly; the other he dazzles out of countenance into a fheepifh dejectednefs. The fun-proof eye dares lead up a dance in a full court; and without blinking at the luftre of beauty, can diftribute an eye of proper complaifance to a room crouded with company, each of which deferves particular regard; while the other fneaks from converfation, like a fearful debtor, who never dares to look out, but when he can fee no body, and no body him. The next inftance of optics is the famous Argus, who, to fpeak the language of Cambridge, was one of an hundred; and being used as a ipy in the affairs of jealoufy, was obliged to have all his eyes about him. We have no account of the particular colours, cafts and turns of this body of eyes; but as he was pimp for his mistress Juno, it is probable he used all the modern leers, fly glances, and other ocular activities to ferve his purpose. Some look upon him as the then king at arms to the heathenish deities; and make no more of his eyes than fo many pangles of his herald's coat. The next upon the optic lift is old Janus, who ftoed in a double fighted capacity, like a perfon • placed betwixt two oppofite looking-glaffes, and lo took a fort of retrospective caft at one view. Copies of this double-faced way are not yet out of fashion with many profeffions, and the ingenious artists pretend to keep up this fpecies by double-headed canes and fpoons; but there is no mark of this faculty, except in the emblematical way of a wife general having an eye to both front and rear, or a pious man taking a review and profpect of his past and future ftate at the fame ❝ time. BoNTIS óta "Hen. "The ox-ey'd venerable Juno." I must own, that the names, colours, qualities, and turns of eyes vary almost in every head; for, not to mention the common appellations of the black, the blue, the white, the gray, and the like; the most remarkable are thofe that borrow their titles from animals, by virtue of fome particular quality of refemblance they bear to the eyes of the refpective creatures; as that of a greedy rapacious afpect takes its name from the cat, that of a tharp piercing nature from the hawk, thofe of an amorous roguish look derive their title even from the fheep, and we fay fuch an one has a fheep's eye, not fo much to denote the innocence as the fimple flynefs of the caft: nor is this metaphorical inoculation a modern invention, for we find Homer taking the freedom to place the eye of an ox, bull, or cow in one of his principal goddeffes, by that frequent expref❝ fion of Now as to the peculiar qualities of the eye, that fine part of our conftitution feems as much the reception and feat of our pallions, appetites and inclinations as the mind itfelf; and at least it is as the outward portal to introduce them to the house within, or rather the common thorough-fare to let our affections pafs in and out. Love, anger, pride, and avarice, all vifibly move in thofe little orbs. I know a young lady that cannot fee a certain gentleman pafs by without thewing a fecret defire of seeing him again by a dance in her eye-balls; the cannot for the heart of her help looking half a treet's length after 6 any man in a gay drefs. You cannot behold a covetous fpirit walk by a goldfinith's fhop without cafting a wifhful eye at the heaps upon the coun As for the various turns of the eye-fight, fuch as the voluntary or involuntary, the half or the whole leer, I fhall not enter into a very particu'lar account of them, but let me obferve, that oblique vifion, when natural, was anciently the mark of bewitchery and magical fafcination, and to this day it is a malignant ill look; but when it is forced and affected, it carries a wanton defign, and in play-houfes, and other public places, this ocular intimation is often an affignation for bad practices; but this irregularity in vifion, together with fuch enormities as tipping the wink, the circumfpective roll, the fide-peep a thin hood or fan, muit be put in the clafs of heteroptics, as all wrong notions of religion are ranked under the general name of heterodox. All the pernicious applications of fight are more immediately under the direction of a Spectator; and I hope you will arm your readers against the mifchiefs which are daily done by killing eyes, in which 6 you will highly oblige your wounded unknown friend, 'T. B.' Mr. Spectator, Y OU profeffed in feveral papers your particular endeavours in the province of Spec" tator, to correct the offence committed by ftarers who disturb whole affemblies without any regard to time, place or modefty. You complained also that a ftarer is not ufually a perfon to be convinced by the reafon of the thing, nor fo eafily rebuked, as to amend by admonitions. I thought therefore fit to acquaint you with a convenient mechanical way, which may eafily prevent or correct ftaring, by an optical contrivance of new perfpective-glaffes, fhort and commodious like opera-glaffes, fit for thort-fighted people as well as others, thefe glaffes making the objects appear, either as they are feen by the naked eye, or more diftinct, though fomewhat lefs than life, or ⚫ bigger and nearer. A perfon may, by the help of |